The Dentist

It is no surprise that eight years after my first big tooth problem (root canal or DIE) that i would again have to face similar problems that must be corrected in order for me to have a shiny, and perfect smile.

When i was in the eight grade (which may not have been eight years ago, but the number seems close enough) I had the most horrible pain in my mouth. Like Killer. Had it not been for me urging my mom to take me to the dentist, i think she would have told me to drink some warm water with salt and call it a day.

When i got there, the dentist informed us that an old filling had gone bad, and the tooth would either have to be pulled or i would have to undergo an root canal. Because of my mom's own experience with a root canal she all but stomped on that idea and my poor tooth was yanked.

During Spring Break (of this year) i noticed a sharp pain in my mouth. Not anything that i couldn't handle of course, but still painful enough that i knew I'd have to make another visit to the dentist. It's not that i don't like having my teeth checked out, but there is something unnerving about having someones fingers in my mouth.

My dentist is hott shit though. He's this middle age, slightly over weight goofball with a cherubic face and cheesy grin. But he's funny, and all around a nice guy who once gave me a sticker even though i was 15.

I went to him a couple of weeks ago, only to learn of more root problem. SHIT. It's nothing major but i have to get my babies cleaned professionally, so i don't have further complications down the road. Despite seeing the movie The Dentist and Dr. Giggles at a fairly young age, I'm not frightened of dentists, I just think there job is horrible (no offense to anyone whose a dentist). It's something i could never see myself doing. On a list of jobs i never want to have, dentist and car dealer are in the top 2.

Having fingers in mouth is one thing, but spending all day with my fingers in someone else's mouth makes me want to gag. I put my weird dentist thing behind me yesterday as i recruited my mom to wait with me in the office. She kept telling me the whole way there that waiting rooms are boring and she didn't know if she could sit in their that long. We bantered the whole way there "it'll be really quick" "I can't it's so BORING" "you can read my book" "Or i can go home and watch CNN" "Really CNN over me" "Please don't make me choose"

I like these moments when our roles are indecipherable. Anyway as soon as we walked into the office there were two people at least in their 70's and a bored kid in his teens sitting down. Honest to god my mom then whispered "Nope. Can't do it. I'll see you later". She did stay however, but fell asleep in the waiting room.

As i figured, having someones fingers in my mouth was as weird as i imagined. Before the weirdness though i had to get my mouth X-rayed. They put this alien probe contraction in my mouth and asked me to bite down on it. Unfortunately for me, my mouth is pretty small and i felt like i was choking. I guess she (the other dentist in the office) didn't notice because she snapped the X-Ray while i was trying to dislodge the thing. She came back a few minutes later asking if i had moved during the x-ray, which i said "No, i don't know what happened"

After the X-Ray, she applied some weird minty gel to my mouth, which was suppose to make my gums go numb. This is where the brain becomes an amazing thing. Though my mouth was numb during the whole process, the noiseof metal against teeth makes you think you are feeling pain. During the whole scrapping, cleaning, rinsing, pulling thing i keep thinking "This should hurt. Why isn't it hurting? Maybe i am so filled with agony that i can't feel anything anymore. What was that noise? Is she pulling on my gums? My god i think that's my gums. This has to HURT."

Needless to say she kept giving me the numbing medicine because i kept telling her it hurt.

About halfway through, with her fingers completely in my mouth, a couple of her co-workers began talking about American Idol. There was this skit with Gladys Knight and the Pips (who just happened to be Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Robert Downey Jr.). It was pretty funny, and my new dentist and her co-workers were having a fun time talking about it.

"Did you watch American Idol?" she asked, but i thought she was talking to someone else. She asked the question again, and i finally realized she was talking to me. This question wouldn't have been a problem if i didn't have about a million things in my mouth. I wanted to say "yes i did see American Idol last night. And the skit was really funny. I'm glad David Cook beat out that other kid"

But what i ended up saying was "Suasdibcnalsdudsbsxnnizdgisuafsopcdsmjcsjasbbcsajks". Followed by drool. GROSS

I have to go four more times before the summer lets up and the dentist people are making a killing on my bad roots ($500!!!). What a girl will do for a pretty and healthy smile. GEEZ.

Time to rest my swollen and aching gums.