?????

Yesterday I half-heartily applied to an PT editorial assistant job in Bridgeport CT. It was a complete fluke. I was just sick of tired of waiting around for my grad letter to come, so I decided to do a job search. I still have not heard anything back from grad school which is really beginning to take a toll on me. It has been four weeks since I turned in my application. Four weeks that I have been contemplating whether my ok grad, ok gre scores and story will be enough.


Because I go back and forth between school and the 'real world' I thought it would be good to start a job search. See what sort of stuff I would qualify for this time around. So that's sort of what I've been doing. However, I was still very shocked when I received a call today from a position I applied to yesterday. She wants to interview me and see if I am right for the position. It is only part time, and it is an hour away but it's in publishing. And believe or not it is for the romance department. I get to read smut all day long. Kind of awesome.



But on a more realistic note there is NO WAY that I can take this position (if she offers it to me after our interview next friday). My lease has pretty much run out at my aunt's house, and I don't know about the whole traveling everyday thing. More importantly, I really want to go to school. And I am praying (yes, actually praying. What a goddamn hypocrite I know) that I will be attending school in fall.



I have been calculating this bridgeport thing in my head ever since she called. And all I can think about is traveling expenses, whether my aunt will let me stay in her house any longer, whether I can handle working there if I am only making part time money which will not afford me an apartment and plus I hear bridgeport sucks...hardcore. This is weird. When I first came here I never got a call back from the publishing jobs I applied to, and now I am qualified to pursue publishing but I don't actually want to do that right now.



What to do? What to do? I am hoping beyond hope that i get some word back from grad school on the status of my application. I want to move forward but I do not know if this is the direction i particularly want to take. This was not the news I was hoping to hear about this week, surprising indeed but not particularly what I was waiting for.



What the hell am I doing with my life.