In A Land Before The Internet

After what seems like 3 months ( 1 and a half I believe) of going to the library, busying myself with crosswords and puzzles, avoiding pervs at various computer stations, and walking around Westchester telling anyone who would listen about my computer problem, I finally have a computer again.

I don't even know what to do with myself I am so happy.

It was a lot harder than I thought. Not because I am a hermit who spends all of her time inside my room, but because I am so use to having access to information at the palm of my hands. I've been watching a lot of Buffy lately, so forgive me for the next analogy, but in season 6 of Buffy (I told you) Willow promises her girlfriend Tara that she can go a week without using magic. She thinks this will be an easy task, until she has to resort to plain old chemistry (test tube, microscope, yadda yadda) to determine if a fast food joints special meat is HUMAN FLESH.

Willow is frustrated by regular science because it lacks the speed of magic. Though she was once the nerdy best friend of Buffy and Xander whose science and research knowledge almost trumped those of Giles, magic has become an easier method. And at the end of the episode she realizes that she can never go back to a time where wizradry was not as part of her life. I guess what I am trying to say is that the few weeks I have spent without the computer reverted me back to a time when I didn't have one. Where the Internet was the thing I used at school, trying to locate a building without google map was not a hard task, and forgetting trivia worthy knowledge meant I would have to ask someone else, instead of using wikipedia.

It's been 1999 for 6 weeks in my room, and though some adjustments were easier than others (instead of playing the sims I finished 5 books) some were not (going to the library every other day).

So when my mom called me on Friday and said that my birthday money (computer money) was in my account, it took me 15 minutes to get dress and I headed to best buy to purchase my first computer on my own. The computer search itself has sucked. Since I was 16 my mom has picked out my computer. A week before my 16th bday, my mom was so excited that she bought me a computer that she couldn't wait until my birthday to tell me about it. She blurted out that she got me a computer the day she bought it, and we set it up that night.

When I entered USC, my fair school, she purchased my first laptop from circuit city I believe. And after that one died, she went to Best Buy where she purchased my now defunct computer. Even though she split half the bill for this computer, the choice was all mine. And knowing this, I went to everyone at work who looked computer savvy for advice. Eventually I settled on the Matt kid because he was patient with all my questions. I cannot begin to tell you how much I like him. Where my attraction to McAbs is purely sexual (his muscles. his tank tops. his blue eyes!), Matt is a good guy. A really good guy.

I haven't had the chance to work with him in the past, but now that he has graduated he is there four days out of the week. He makes me laugh, he also has really nice eyes, and helped me majorly with the computer thing. But he too has a girlfriend, and I am willing to be just friends with him because he's that great of a guy.

For weeks we've message each other back and forth about my computer. I've sent him links, he has sent me links, and brought me pamphlets at work to look at. By the time friday rolled around, I narrowed my search down to a few promising choices.

But that didn't mean that I knew completely what I wanted. First it was the HP, and then the Gateway, only to hear great things about Toshiba. When I finally made it to Best Buy I was convinced I was getting a Gateway. The reviews on Best Buy were okay, and other sites varied between it being a decent and horrible computer. But it was in my price rage, it had a lot of good specifics, and it was pretty.

But I'm a horrible decision maker, because I hate regret with a passion. So even though I was all 'gateway here I come', i told the sales associate Mike differently. I blurted out that I was nervous about buying a computer, because I had never done so before. That this was a huge investment for me, and that what I want and what I need are two different things.

Let me explain to you this Mike character. He was at least 2 years younger than me, I had just heard him minutes before complaining about working at best buy, he was semi rude to a customer, and his general attractiveness was distracting. So as I was blurting this all to him I kind of expected a 'bitch this isn't therapy, choose a computer and get out of my way". But he didn't say that.To my surprise, Mike spent, god I'm embarrassed by this, 2 hours looking at every computer in the store with me. TWO! I wish I was exaggerating.

He played good cop/bad cop very well. He let me ramble, he rambled, he suggested, I suggested, he turned down those suggestions, I pouted because the HP is cute, he gave me 15 minutes to think by myself, he waited in the corner, when I returned and said I wanted the Gateway he nearly smacked me in the face and replied "have you been listening to anything I've said", i apologized, he apologized, he gave me another ten, he smiled when I narrowed it down to three computers that fit my needs, he called his friend over to examine my choices, and after 2 hours I decided on a DELL!

Who knew. At the end of it all, Mike said I was the best customer he has ever had, I thanked him for his patience, and look at me me now, a whole week until my birthday and I have a new computer. It's nice. I love it. It's a lot smaller than my other computer (a good thing) and I have been catching up with my computer absence all weekend.

Of course, I am as broke as possibly can be. The computer itself was only $549.00 but that damn warranty killed it for me. But hey, I have a computer. And not having to sit next to guys looking at porn is plus. And more blogging, writing, and of course applying for jobs. I had to pay to put my loans in forbearance again, but that gives me another three months to apply my ass off. I need a job and one quick. I've been at the bookstore a year too long, and I am ready to move on.

In a week I turn 24. I am freaked out about this, and nervous. I don't know where the time went, or how I can get it back but 24 is here and I feel every bit the girl in her 20's. I am conflicted about life, and men, and jobs (or my lack of one). I don't have control over my social life, or anxiety, and some days I want to go home to my room in south carolina, under the covers in my huge bed and hide until my real life begins.

But I can't. So I won't. And on my 24th birthday I hope I get some sweet revelation about my life. I'm in need of one. I do plan on seeing dinosaurs on my bday. I haven't been to a museum since I moved here, and dinosaurs have been flooding my dreams.

Anyway, I'm glad to be back. I missed this space.