from: [my email address]
to: {sean's father email address]
cc: [sean's military email address]
sent: Saturday 10:45am
subject: Re: Letters to my Son
Dear Mr. {Sean's Dad}
I received both your Facebook message and email and am glad to hear that Sean is doing well. It has been some time since Sean and I have really talked so your updates are appreciated. Unfortunately our lack of contact has much to do with the fact that while Sean is deployed his limited communication should pertain to family and close friends and we have mutually come to a conclusion that I don't really met either of those requirements these days. While he is deployed we decided to limit our contact as to give each other space to accomplish our goals independently.
I want to thank you for all that you and [your wife] have done for me these last few months. I understand the desire to share Sean's successes with me despite our decision to support one another from a distance. If you hear from Sean tell him I have received all of his messages on facebook and from his email and that I hope he is doing okay and that he is happy and safe out on the sea. I think about him often and can only hope that he is well. I wish you all the best and continue to expect only great and adventurous things from your family even if i am cheering you on from the sidelines. It's been a pleasure knowing you all and i thank you for having me along for this journey however short and brief it was.
Sincerely,
Beckett Amelia Hughes.
7 comments:
Hold on, Confused Reader is Confused. So...Sean has been messaging you, you haven't messaged back, and he basically sent his dad to check in on you to see what's going on? Is that how it happened?
Gaaaahhhh. How awful. How fucking intrusive, too. What the hell, Mr. Sean's Dad? Do you not think this is just a wee bit weird?
You should block any and all of these people, and otherwise do whatever you need to do to shut the door on that part of your life.
that is exactly what is happening!!! Sean messaged me all last week via facebook but i didn't respond. On Thursday i get a message from his dad who is just 'checking in' followed by an update on Sean and his whereabouts. I don't respond. I THEN get a phone call from his dad who wants me to call him whenever i have the time so we can talk. I finally cave and email his father and sean the letter i posted hoping this would clear up my radio silence.....it doesn't. Sean sends me an email a few hours later as if everything is cool and asks me to write him as much as I can. Then he sends me a picture on Sunday of him and his shipmates. I don't know what to do! i don't know what to do! my brother says i should continue said silence and Sean will get the picture but a huge part of me wants to tell him to leave me alone. He made his decision, now him and his family have to live with his gf/fiance being the central communicative figure in their life. Not me. I need advice :(
Ugh. First of all, fuck the whole "write me as much as you can!" thing. He doesn't deserve that kind of time and effort from you. And there's no freaking way you can move on and get on with your own life if he keeps running hot and cold on you.
As for the family...I wonder if you should be a little bit honest and just say, hey, I had feelings for Sean, he is engaged, I'm taking myself out of the equation. That's not the *whole* story, but it's basically true, and from a rational perspective you're doing the right thing: taking yourself out of a situation where you could be seen as the "other woman." Now, we all know that's not the case, that Sean's a jerk, his GF is crazy, etc. But since Sean's parents are totally up his ass and seem to need an explanation as to your disappearance from his life...well, you might have to give them one to get them to back off. As for Sean, I'd continue the silence. Because once you break it he might suck you back in, and that's not good for you.
Seriously though, WHY ARE HIS PARENTS INTERVENING IN HIS FRIENDSHIPS HOLY CRAAAAAP. Girl, you do what you need to do to get away from that giant pile of crazy. RUN. DON'T WALK.
KNK, are you around? What say you?
Ditto on what Perpetua said. These people are NUTS!!!!. Ignore him, block him and just start living YOUR life.
More communication will only lead to more drama, and confusion. Let these crazy people eat your dust!
i admit to being a lesser being than you all - I want beckett to send a spectacularly-worded takedown of this asshat to him, his gf, and his parents. go out with a bang, you know? It seems like sean is incapable of getting the picture unless you shout it explicitly from the rooftops. but jesus what the fuck his dad is checking up on you? doesn't HIS DAD think "gosh, why's my son so interested in this girl who isn't his gf/finacee"?
*I* want to talk to sean. i want to say - look, asshole, you had a seriously kickass girl who would have done almost anything for you, DID you many things for you, put up with one metric ton of shit from you and STILL WANTED YOU - and you jerked her around, treated her poorly, let yourself be really intimate with her,up to and including NAKED BATHS, knowing how she felt, you wishy-washy'd around for years, and then when it came down to it, you not only chose another girl, you kind of threw beckett under a double-decker bus at the same time. do you really think you're so fucking awesome that you can do that, and still have her want to spend any time or energy on you? What have you given her that makes you think you deserve her to "write you all the time'?
i'd cc the dad and the gf on it, and hit send, then stroll out the door while sassy music played.
It seems to ME, as someone who has spent almost as much time in a virtually identical situation, that what makes this SO HARD for you is that even when sean closes the door, he leaves it open a crack. And that goddamn cracked door = hope. it means maybe things will change. it's "wow he cares so much he had his dad check on me." it's "he wants me to write, he must need me." It's like he's making you do all the work twice over, and it's not fucking fair. I want to shake him so hard it's not even funny.
i feel like i want you to send vindictive email because as far as i can tell, he's had no real consequences from his shitty actions, and i want there to be.
but probably Perpetua has the better approach here :)
I'm torn between the advice of Perpetua and KnK.
But if it were me and I sent that "spectacularly-worded takedown", as satisfying as that would feel to write and to send off, I'd most likely wait obsessively for his response, and then after waiting for probably too long, be faced with more drama with this emotionally vacant dickwit.
But maybe that's just me.
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