I have an interview this Thursday for an administrative gig at another university and I have all sorts of mixed feeling about it.

I currently love the University I am working at. I have my own office. My hours accommodate sleeping in late while also ensuring I get out of work at a good time. It's only a 30 minute walk from my house. And the lady in the cafe hooks me up with extra chicken in my quesdilla. I also work on the same floor as the cute IT guy who i've have yet to form complete sentence in front of but there have been intense staring.

The problem is my job is only part time. I have no health insurance. I get no paid sick or vacation time. And there are no raises. The hourly rate i started at is the hourly rate i will make until i leave. If I had another part time job that wasn't Le Sad store I could realistically work two jobs for the next couple of years and survive as I have without a problem.

But lately i've been wanting things that have forced me to look for a 'real job' or at least a salary job. About a week ago we had this epic thunderstorm and I ran outside on the porch to watch it. I wore nothing but a flimsy skirt and t-shirt and listened to Smother by Daughter on my ipod. I have never been happier, which says a lot because the last few weeks have been tough. It was just me and the rain and music and I was incredibly happy. I spent an hour on the porch and when i finally went inside I realized that if all i could have were thunderstorms, lemonade and a porch to chill on i'd, right now anyway, be content.

And while i like where i live right now i really would like a space of my own. A small studio with a kitchen and a living room space. I want to be able to come home and have this place that is all mine. I want more space to decorate than my bedroom. I want to bring people into my home and have them feel comfortable. I want to be able to enjoy rainstorms and homemade lemonade from my own home.That's it. That's all i want right now.

Of course obtaining those things means I need to make more money and at this rate I'll be renting a small room forever if i don't figure something out soon. Change has always freaked me out though and I am nervous about the possibility of working at a new school. I have no real sound reasons for this apprehension, i just do. For this reason i was only applying to positions at my current University because of comfort but I've either heard nothing back or gone on shit interviews like the one last Thursday.

It was for a position on the undergrad campus which i spent an hour getting two via the schools limited summer transport. While i got there early for my interview I had to wait an extra 45 minutes because my interviewer wasn't ready. When i finally met with her she informed me that she was an HR Manager and that this interview was just the first of many to come should i be deemed fit for the position. She spent 10 minutes going over my resume (verbatim) and then dismissed me.

I was not pleased, especially because I took off of work to meet with her and this interview could have been done over the phone. She did not get a thank you for meeting with me email. And she won't.

I was actually hoping not too much in the job hunting department would happen this week because of my Chicago trip but the assistant to the Dean of whatever called today and was uber nice and excited to talk to me and I have an interview this Thursday.

Fingers crossed I guess. I could really use a nice studio apartment and kitchen to make lemonade and a chill space of my own to listen to dope tunes.