Yesterday I bought a crock pot! A crock pot ya'll! And I am over the moon excited about my foray into cooking. Or at least crock pot cooking. I am trying to keep things in my life positive and care-free despite the recent communication from asshat. If i busy myself enough then maybe activity and will alone drive him from my thoughts and life. I'm not saying it is going to work. He sent me a long email detailing his life at sea. It was not poignant and sure as hell did not possess anything i was open to entertaining (an apology perhaps. some things you never stop wanting from people).

The email caused anxiety and the anxiety led to sleepless nights and bad dreams. The dream that sticks with me the most is of us sitting on a boardwalk cuddling and making promises. He tells me he has good news: that he is getting married soon and they are moving to Florida but he wants me to move in with them. He tries to sell me the absurdity of the situation. A mini sister wives thing that she has no clue she is embarking on. Of course I am livid that he would even bring it up. There is screaming and shouting and threats. We end up back at our hotel and he threatens to kill me for making such a big deal out of everything.

And then i wake up.

Obviously my dreams are trying to tell me something. So/But instead of focusing on the email, if or when i will respond back, and the complete and utter shit of an asshat that boy is... I bought a crock pot and am planning an exceptional weekend of food (spaghetti and meatballs), wine (by wine i mean angry orchard beer) and entertainment (Gilmore Girls is on Netflix. All 7 Seasons. What else am i expected to watch).

I am adjusting to the new place pretty well. I loathe traveling, which i now have to do five days a week, but everything about my new place and town is perfect. I don't have any furniture outside of my twin mattress, a desk and a chair for one, so the space is pretty empty. If all works out, I can buy a futon next week and maybe a TV stand (for the TV that is currently sitting on the shitty desk I built all by myself).

When i was a kid my art teacher always told us to fill the blank space of our canvas with as much color as possible (to each their own i guess) and as a studios kid I was always afraid of leaving any amount of white showing. In a way, I follow this 'creative' advice today when it comes to decorating. I don't love clutter but i do like things to look full. Things that look full remind me of warmth and warmth reminds me of home. I want this place to be home to me.

And a huge part of this place being home to me is being able to cook. So yesterday Heather, who really has stepped up the last few weeks in the friend department, and I went grocery shopping and then to Bed, Bath and Beyond where we both purchased crock-pots. She recently moved in with her boyfriend, who i swear she hates but whatever, and is adjusting as well to being an 'adult' as well. We are both struggling to manage food expenses. I am use to eating out all the time because my mini-fridge could only hold so many things for so long. She lived with her mom and sister and was use to food always being in the house.

Of course now that we both live on our own the food thing has been our biggest hurdle. So we planned our first big supermarket trip yesterday equipped with coupons and a few hours to spare. I bought all kinds of good stuff and saved money though I did splurge on buying oatmeal raisin cookies. Don't judge...they are delicious. Afterwards we swung by BB&B where we purchased our crock pots.

The last few weeks have been pretty rough and I am looking forward to a relaxed weekend at home.  Next week i am attending NYCC for the second year in a row, followed by a tattoo convention the following week, followed by a birthday/Halloween party, followed by the Halloween parade in the city with Kat. So this weekend will be the last one for a few weeks where i just get to enjoy some me time in my new home.

Anway, time to get back to work. I am counting down the hours until i can go home.