Birthday Miracle.

I have been a little mum on my financial situation these last few months because honestly I didn't want to jinx it and make it any worse than it is. I was fearful that even talking about how broke I was (am), how many bills I have forgone paying (except rent clearly) and how little food I have been eating was not something I wanted to put out in the atmosphere because I didn't want karma to have it all blow back in my face ten-fold because you know, life likes to kick you when you are down.

Honestly though, since December I have been living paycheck to paycheck...even tho my paychecks barely cover rent. This is literally the broke-st I have ever been in my whole life and I once lived off of 7.75 minimum wage at the library job when I was in college, so i know what broke looks and feels life.

I can't say my current lack of money has anything to do with quitting Le Sad Store but it did a little. Even though I only worked there two nights a week and I would bring home about $100 the cushion was nice. The hemorrhaging of money began with the big move in October, which led to money having to be spent on transportation (which never was an issue before) and now that I have a kitchenette the amount of food I spend on groceries has been in play concluding with my general cost of living...I simply don't make enough money at the University alone to pay for my life expenses.

The biggest issue has been the job at the University which recently cut the hours of all part time employees because the school is on the brink of bankruptcy. Instead of being able to work 30 hours a week we can only work max 20 hours, but that was the max was the best case scenario , since the cut and the snow days I probably work 15 hours a week and two weeks ago I only made $266 for the pay period. I may have cried so much I turned into a puddle for everyone to trek their soles through. It was depressing.

I immediately amped up my job search and got lost in the dark twisted world of temp agencies, job hunting websites and craigslist (which is an entity of it's own). For anyone who hasn't faced the desperation of job seeking, I will tell you quite painfully..it is the fucking pits. I'd wake up and apply to jobs, I'd search for listings on my phone on my way to work, i'd get to work and search and apply and repeat this process until my shift ended. Then, i'd go home to search and apply until I fell asleep. I spent 3 miserable weeks doing this, only to get less than a handful of interested employers.

And the few places I did apply to were great but fell through quickly:

there was an opening at the University for a full time job, in the city, with a bunch of job and fun employees (before my interview began, i heard someone crank up the radio because R.E.M was playing). I was probably older than the guy who interviewed me and we were both very informal and enthusiastic about me joining the department. But then he broke the bad news towards the end of my interview. The job's starting salary was less than my asking price (by like 10k) and while I was a shoe-in for the job he wanted to make sure I would be okay with the pay and having to commute to the city. Of course, I joyously replied that I would make it work because I wanted nothing more than to stay with the university. We shook hands and he walked me to the door and said he was looking forward to working together.

As soon as I got home I crunched numbers and realized I would not be able to live off of the salary and instead would be paying the University to work there. My paychecks per pay period would roughly be around $400 dollars ( 2 paychecks per month) and to put things in to perspective traveling to Manhattan per month alone is $436. While I was desperate and had no other prospects I emailed the interviewer and told him I could not accept the job offer but was grateful for the opportunity.

THEN, I had an interview with a publishing company in the city. My brief stint in publishing was not a great one. I love reading, I love writing but I simply have no interest of working in publishing.  Unfortunately, my degree and retail experience is tailored for the industry. I ended up finding a job at a small publishing company that was seeking a web savvy and adorable receptionist...and who else could fulfill the position but me. I interviewed with some awesome ladies and made an adorable impression on several of the employees (it involved me struggling to open the main door to the building, which lead to concern looks but eventual help from some of the staff smoking cigarettes outside). Before the interview ended they asked me for 3 references that they could contact. I scribbled down two of my current managers and then my friend Heather (who has helped me out so much with everything this past year). I placed Heather's name on the top of the list, hoping they'd call her and then left the interview feeling super confidant so much so that i spent the rest of the afternoon in the city hitting up comic book shops and flirting with booksellers.

But silence followed said awesome interview. No request for a second interview, no phone call, no rejection letter,  just nothing. I was so confidant that i'd gotten the job and so elated from the feeling of a new start that realizing I hadn't gotten it hurt. I just didn't understand why it didn't work out. A few weeks later my current boss called so we could go over some job related things. Before he hung up, he asked "do you know a woman named [insert interviewers name] she called a few weeks asking if I could provide some info on you but I was nervous it was a scam so I pretended like i didn't know who you were or what she was talking about". My heart freaking sank. He knew I was job hunting but he didn't necessarily know where or when and I made the mistake of thinking they would call Heather instead of my manager.

I slowly tried to recover from the setback but nothing clicked. I got a few calls from hiring agencies that all promised awesome opportunities to work in finance which only convinced me they hadn't properly reviewed my resume which showed little to no experience or interest in finance. I applied to several part time jobs in my neighborhood because of my eagerness to work anywhere but they were all looking for high school or college students..not me.

The week before my birthday my luck turned around, I got 5 interviews out of the 40 jobs I applied to and I spent 5 days talking about my self to various employers. It was rough.

One of the jobs i interviewed for was with a girlfriend of a friend who basically contacted me via facebook and told me there was an opening at her job and she wanted me to apply so we could work together. She used to work at Le Sad Store and dates my close friend Justin (they were the couple who threw the Halloween party where I learned all the crazy shit about Sean from his cousin). She is sort of quiet and withdrawn but super nice and every time there is a group outing she and Justin attend.  I wouldn't call us friends but she is definitely someone who I get along with and could become friends with down the line. Because we border on the friend/ associate border I was a little confused by her offer and general excitement to interview me (yes! she was the one giving the interview). So I took off from work, trekked to this lavish building and sort of hung out with her for a good 40 minutes while she went over the job and what i'd be doing.

She spoke as if the job was already mine and I asked questions as if the job was mine as well. I couldn't imagine her asking me to apply and interview with her only to be turned down for the job. That would be weird and insulting right, like dangling food in front of a starving person. Towards the end of the interview she admitted that she had interviewed a few other people but did not like them, obviously, as much as me but that ultimately she would not be the decision maker in who gets hired. She also added "so please don't hate me if you don't get hired. I really want you to get the job but my boss pretty much decides". She walked me to the elevators and then gave me a big ass hug and  I left sort of confidant but also pretty sure i'd have to move back to South Carolina if I didn't get this job.

As soon as I got home and undressed I got a text from Justin's GF "i have great news...call me back". Two minutes later she giggly said the job was mine if wanted it because her boss felt confidant with whomever she, Patricia, wanted to hire. And with that I now officially have a new job with benefits that pays well and I don't even have to work on the weekends.

I start this Thursday (current boss, perhaps feeling guilty for the reference fumble so he was okay with me starting the new job sooner than usual) and am nervous but also very excited. I have never had a full time job before. I have also never had money, livable or disposable income. I have had such a shit year I wanted nothing more than to enter my 29th one with a renewed sense of possibilities. And all of a sudden, almost out of nowhere I have been given one. It feels strange and odd and yet necessary like the more I distance myself from the missteps of Sean and Le Store and my old apartment and the endless tears the better the outcome for my life.

At least that is what i hope. So yay! I hope this trend of good news continues. I could seriously use a break and a change for once.