I tried OK Cupid for a hot second and realized quickly that I am somehow not made for the world of online dating.

But i want and miss companionship I just wish it were a little more personal and organic than reading through profiles and getting a ton of 'wanna hook up" conversation starters.

I think I would like to be courted. I'd like to be approached in a bookstore or a supermarket or even a chill bar by someone who notices me in passing and is compelled to say hello and engage in small talk.

I have had a few of these interactions and they have all been great and interesting but do to the abruptness of it nothing ever pans out much further than that. I am charmed, I believe said person is charmed but when it's time for us to part there is never an exchange of numbers or 'if you're ever free".

That approach is a little more difficult and risky.

Sometimes though, I wish I could just skip to something comfortable and nice with a boy that I deeply a fan of. Sean wasn't shit but he did provide companionship from time to time and now i finally feel ready for an actual, not fucked up, so cute it hurts, complicated but bearable companionship.

I am just not sure where or how to go about this dating world that is much too complex and impersonal for me.