Updates

All of my posts should start with "work is killing me" cause jebsus effing Christmas, this place is killing me. And it's only Wednesday. How is it only Wednesday.

Tomorrow my boss has decided to have a company wide meeting to discuss our progress and goals moving forward. We have these meetings every 4 months where we gather in our big conference room for an hour while he goes over, in excruciating detail, all the things we are doing well and obviously on the things that could still needs improvement.

I hate these meetings. I've only been to 3 since I started at this job but they are the most meaningless things in the whole entire world and I spend most of my time drawing unhappy faces in my notebook. Tomorrow though, my boss decided to mix it up: not only are we having a meeting but it is going to be in the afternoon instead of the morning and afterwards he expects us all to attend a summer party on the patio to revel in his successful career venture.

The meeting is supposed to run from 5:30pm to 7:00pm (excluding the after party) and I am livid that I even have to attend this thing. My role in the company is marginal at best, I am the only one who takes public transportation and my town is so far away that even if I do catch the last bus home, I will still have to pay for a cab or take the train to get to my actual neighborhood. I have already planned an escape route so I don't have to go to this party but there is no way to avoid the meeting. I am dreading this meeting. I am dreading the awkwardness that comes about when there are gatherings of any sort. I want to sit as close to the exit as possible. I don't want to engage in small talk. I'd rather just disappear.

The only good thing about this job is they pay me well or okay enough to live normally. I plan on buying a car in two weeks because i've saved up enough money to purchase one without too much financial worries. It's so weird that 8 years ago, I didn't even think i'd ever get my drivers license because i keep failing the test. I finally got my license a few days before moving to New York but by then I owning/driving a car was not in my near future. And now here I am, only a few more shitty bus and train rides away from owning a car and driving, finally driving.

The idea of how much independence this will give me is overwhelming. I am so used to being the passenger, it will be an adjustment to be the driver. To have a little more control over...well everything. Metaphor for life, I guess.

Le sigh. 5 more hours to go.