First Day...

So today I started my job...YEAH-ISH.

I've worked in a library before and was expecting to have your usual array of (to put bluntly) freaks and geeks. I feel I can make this accurate assessment because well I worked in the library but was rather the shy girl, then the freaky geeky girl who talked about the lifespan of butterflies and my obsession with Dungeon and Dragons.

Of course I have no problems with the "freaky" kind, as my mom says I attract them like the plague. It's the truth. Something about my appearance reads to other people that I will understand and save them from their sorrows. It's a curse and a positive attribute of mine, a pleasant face and a gentle smile. What can I say.

The day started off at a very rough 6:30, I finally got out of the room at 7:30 and spent the next hour or so daydreaming in Bio. Then I ran to the coffee shop, grabbed a coffee regular, extra sugar, little cream and sat in the bookstore. I had so many packets(because I need them) that a small pile accumulated to the glareful eye of the stranger sitting next to me.

After downing the coffee, I headed to the library, where I ran into the guy I had met on Friday. He was nice, I had noticed him around campus a lot, but CLEARLY knew that he is not my type(he is almost my height, and I am short. A BIG NO NO). But fate does not care what my type is, I usually attract the guys I would NEVER EVER date. EVER.

To even get into the door of potential dater(phenotypically, because the world is very vain):
-Dark hair
-considerably taller than me.
-generally more extroverted than me
-Amazing eyes.
-Gideon Yago like features, but if you are Gideon Yago than you have filled the position I am looking for. I am set for life.

But these are just the small things.

Which of course meant that during the whole orientation I had the prying eyes of "library guy" on me. Though I share a shift with another guy, he locked creepy eyes with me the whole time, barely noticing the kid standing right next to me. I now know what the phrase "undressing me with his eyes" mean. Boys, have no shame.

We pretty much had a run through of the library process. SHELVING BOOKS. Which everyone knows is a very boring job, but the price at the end of my rainbow is money, which I desperately need, and want. So I can deal with it. The numbers start blaring together, and without my iPod I think I may have gone crazy on those books, but it is only a temp, probably to the end of the semester, if not less than that, so I don't mind nor care.

I think the struggle will be not dealing with people. I never realized how much I liked working with people until I was trapped in a library all day, shelving books. I like seeing hot faces, and having small chat. I do that best of all, and then I get all awkward and quiet.

The library crowd are very scary people. The true definition of anti-social. Though I love my quiet time, there are other times when I need to be around other people to feel...Alive. People are interesting and dynamic and lovely. Yes even lovely, as they appear in my dreams. But the library people huddle in their little crowd of being weird. The trapped themselves in the conference room, and have lunch. They talk about how the place outside those walls are unfit for them. They hide away.

Sounds a little familiar, I think. Sounds hella familiar. As soon as my shift ended(at an agonizing 1:30), I jetted up the stairs, ran outside and breathed in air,let the sun hit my face, and smiled at the first face I saw.

Maybe working at the library has given me more incentive to be apart of the world, because like Winona Ryder at the end of a very emotional Girl Interrupted " Maybe everyone out there is a liar. And maybe the whole world is stupid, and ignorant. But I'd rather be in it. Id' rather be fucking in it, than down here with you" and that is my sentiment this year. I'd rather be in the world, than hiding.

And I learned all this from being with freaky library people. WHO KNEW.

I do have to create an imaginary boyfriend though. Because I hate rejecting people and have dealt with problems in the past where saying "I am just not interested" has not worked in my favor, I use the more complex a fun "I have a boyfriend" line. The problem is, is that I never use at the right time, I never squeeze it into conversations and just go blank. But because I fear I will be dealing with a bunch of "never had a girlfriend" boys, I need the dreaded "boyfriend" line to keep them at bay.

So I figure if I at least mention I have a boyfriend in at least one conversation with someone, then the boys will know "hey i'm off limits", go bother someone else. I might have to use my friendship with Mike, and ask him for a small favor and be the face to my boyfriend name if I need one. Which shouldn't be the case, but you never know. Cause if you think about it if I say "hey yeah I have a boyfriend who lives in Chicago" they are going to be like "yeah, right". So pretend boyfriend on campus will be a little more plausible.

And a little more fun to say then "no I just don't want to see anyone right now, unless you are a certain boy who leads an Art Club and is a hockey player." What? I had to say it.

I'm going to an outdoor concert in less than two hours, right now I need to be near faces, even unfamiliar ones, I will bring a book just in case I get nervous and want to hide. It should be okay, I'll tell you how it goes.