The Avalanche

When i signed up for Shakespeare i did not think it would involve performing his plays
during class.

Grant it I understand that Shakespeare wrote plays and that plays are meant to be performed, but some how i think my professor is missing the ball with the whole "lets embarrass my students by making them perform in front of the whole class"

I think this is a case where my anxiety is getting the best of me. I literally called up the Biology department trying to squeeze into a Biology class. Technically i can take Bio 102 which i have avoided taking. It would give me 7 credits for summer session 2 instead of 6 (which is a positive) but I would have to pay a lab fee i wasn't counting on(negative), and i would have to buy new books(negative), attend a 4 hour lab(negative),and have to wear goggles(negative) which i wasn't planning on doing this summer.

All so i don't have to read some passages in front of the class. I know it's totally irrational. Even as i write it i shake my head with how absurd it is to go through all the trouble of avoiding Shakespeare. My teacher seems nice, and everyone in the class aren't savages...and yet...i am petrified.

I can do public speaking. If and when i have to but performing is a different thing. i mean she doesn't expect us to go up and recite the thing like they did in the old days, but i have a problem with being the center of attention.

Some people love it(my brother) but i have strayed away from it. i mean i don't want to be completely ignored by people, but sometimes fading in the crowd isn't that bad. Being so uncomfortable in my own skin, makes it ten times harder to put myself out there for other people to see.

I'm trying to calm my nerves so i don't do anything as irrational as signing up for a class that is going to cost my mom at least $ 200 dollars. Plus i have missed the first two classes and a lab which would set me behind.

For now i am going to halt the avalanche of doubts running through my head and breathe. Breathe. Breathe. And trudge forward. F*cking Shakespeare.