De-Friended

My brother deleted me from his myspace profile which is a clear indication of my fun filled week at home.

If anyone uses myspace being de-friended is like a cyber slap in the face but coming from a family member it is more like a cyber stab in the back.

For the most part my week home after summer school was great. After receiving 2 more A's via my English classes my mom picked me up and took me home. I spent 2 days resting, reading, and hanging out with my cats before heading to my grandmothers. Surprisingly it wasn't as boring as it usually is, mainly because we stumbled on my favorite store in the whole wide world...POTTERY BARN. I cannot begin to express my love for this store. I have based my whole future aspirations on earning enough money in my career so i can afford everything at pottery barn. Enough said.

After the Pottery Barn shopping day, we spent the next three days hanging with family i haven't seen in a while or at all. I played on a trampoline with my 5 year old distant cousin who kept insisting we play imaginary Cheetah Girls/High School Musical type games. I complied but only because...lets admit it, I'm sort of a kid at heart.

After returning home from my grandmothers house my brother began giving me the cold shoulder. I can't even say it is the cold shoulder because it was more like "shooting daggers in my back" sort of thing. He started blaming things on my simply being there for the week: The computer doesn't work because i had the cable box in my room which was disrupting the wires in the wall where the DSL yadda yadda yadda. His cable box isn't working because i am watching Howard Stern in my room (our rooms are right next to each other), I'm acting weird because yadda yada yadda.

This went on for the next four days. My mother admittedly noticed it but didn't say anything. I avoided him at all cost (which i guess is where he gets the idea that i was acting weird) because he kept making faces and cursing under his breath every time i walked by him (and yes he is 23).

For all i know this hatred stemmed from the small fact that i took my laptop to my grandmothers house(while he was at home with his broke down computer) and that I didn't let him use my computer much while i was home(but i suspect it is something more). There is a desktop at home that has had problems for years due to my brother deleting programs that he shouldn't have, spilling soda on the keys and everything else under the sun. After having to fix it several times due to his fuck ups, the computer has been acting funny. It cuts off after 30 minutes and isn't reliable.

Two years ago my mom bought me a laptop for college, after coming home for summer break and letting him use it, the damn thing broke. He had been using it all week and it started making funny noises. When i took it to the bookstore to get some writing done, it stopped working all together. Ever since this incident i have been hesitant in letting him use my new computer. I let him use it when i get home but only for an hour at a time, just for precaution. Of course i usually don't force this hour rule and he uses it for much longer than that only returning it after i have asked him several times to give it back.

So when i got home and he started doing the cold shoulder treatment i decided letting him use my computer was not such a good idea. I don't want my brother to only talk to me when he wants something from me and i especially don't want him to use it when he is taking sibling rivalry to a new depth.

So along with the "I hate Beckett" rivalry, over who knows what , and me not letting him use the computer... being home was not so fun anymore. I hate being hated, i feel like if i was a bitchy horrible sister than he'd have every right to but I'm not. I'm constantly there for him, and despite the shit he has done in the past i still had faith in him. But this past week he has it taken it too far, he has made me feel like a burden in my own home.

So after a day of moving in all my stuff into my new dorm i was happy to have some time to check on some sites i haven't been to in a while. Blogger, Facebook, CNN, and Myspace and to my great disappointment the asshole deleted me. He deleted his own sister, there must be a law saying that that is a punishable crime. Though the last thing i am worried about is a being de-friended on a social networking site, i am just saddened that this is where our relationship is going. Where not only am i not his friend in real life but not even via the Internet.

Geez.