Flattery will get you nowhere...Well i take that back.

There is a girl in my short story workshop who is a total asshole.

I know recently i have been on a "calling everyone a douche, asshole..." but seriously i have encountered the worst people.

And if she really wasn't that bad i would totally not call an asshole. But she is.

Really

She comes in late all the time(which doesn't bother) , but then has the balls to complain in class about who he knows what(which does bother me). She talks with a foreign accent, though she was born in America. Right down the street in fact.

I try to stay as far away from her as i can, because i seem to be a radar for douches and douchettes.

Because the heavens are against me she wound up in my short story group, and despite annoying the hell out of me she isn't that much trouble cause i usually ignore everything that comes out of her mouth.

The first time we introduce ourselves (when we first got in the short story group) She had this to say to me

LD: You look like a Felicia

Me: Yeah...that's my not my name though

LD: I know but you just remind me more of a Felicia. Can i call you Felicia

Me: No

?????

She later went on to rename another kid in our group. I was pretty annoyed by her renaming thing, but took it in stride because well...i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. When she introduce herself however, it was with a fake name. LD is just some name she came up with and wants everyone to call her that. For that sole reason in class i call her by her given name.

After the first introduction she harassed me again:

LD: I think we work together

Me: do you work in the library?

LD: No but i swear we work together

Me: Well if you don't work in the library then we probably don't work together

LD: I'm pretty sure it's you though

She came back the next week after walking up to a girl at work who she thought was me( and realized it wasn't), which she later had to tell me this "news" during our class

LD: You were right we don't work together. Funny HUH.

No. Not funny. What the hell is wrong with this girl. I can't even concentrate in group because i am silently shooting daggers at her. She's pompous and crazy which is the worst kind. Today she came in with a huge hangover, i mean HUGE. She ran to the bathroom in the middle of class, her feet galloping down the hallway in a sprint so shouldn't throw up on herself.

When we got into groups, i made sure not to sit next to her because i didn't want barf on me at 8 in the morning. Apparently a hungover crazy lady is the rudest person in the world because she spent 10 minutes tearing this guys story to pieces to the point where i was even cringing. His story wasn't good don't get me wrong (athlete doesn't want to be an athlete, gets in a car crash, is paralyzed. YAWN), but there is a way of going about not liking a story with...kindness. She went on and on about how "this didn't make sense, and i didn't like this part where...". His face was beat red by the end of it. Me and the Monk just sat back in our seats and watched.

After the tirade i said something to him like: The flow and pacing was nice. Just to ease the tension.

When we finished work shopping his story, crazy drunk student turned to me and just stared. I thought she was going to say i looked like a Katie, Stephanie, or Jessica....so i was preparing my self for the eye roll and silent curse under my breath.

Instead with his lazy eyes and disheveled hair she said

LD: You look really smart. Like smart smart. My parents would love you.

Instead of rolling my eyes, I blushed

Me: thank you, that's really nice.

Dammit I'm a sucker for compliments, if that was a compliment.