The Replacement

There was this girl in high school named Miranda, who tried desperately to be my BFF. It wasn't that i was opposed to being friends with her, but i kind of already had a BFF and there was no need for a replacement.



After some failed attempts to steal me away from Marie, she settled into a Buddy mode which i was more than okay with. She's the kind of girl with a million plans, yet she has no idea how to make them happen. She's more talk than anything else.



Marie and i would sit and listen to her stories all the time about what she was going to do post high school. It was a little annoying. She was convinced that she was friends with the more popular kids in school (which she wasn't) and any time a popular Heather or a popular Lauren walked by us in the hallway, she would wave frenetically in their direction. They smiled back of course, but not with the "OMG, she's a really cool girl". It was more of a pathetic acknowledgment of her.



Any who, ever since college I've run into from time to time at the mall or supermarket. And this only because i didn't run out of her eyesight fast enough. Every time i have seen her, she's "doing" something new and exciting. According to her mom, who runs into my mom all the time, she isn't doing much of anything. She went to school for a while, before dropping out. Then she reapplied and dropped out again. Right now she is applying to a small school literally minutes where i live now.

I ran into her on Tuesday at the mall. I'm no mallrat, but my watch brought and i was hoping i could find a band there. When i turned around she was literally in my face with "OMG's!!" and "It's been so long". My mom, being the best person ever, ran faster than I've ever seen her run in the opposite direction.

As usual, we talked about school and then she asked me for my phone number so we could hang out. I reluctantly handed over my number followed by a "that would be cool". Even though that would not be cool.

I usually hang out with Marie during the summer, but after her move and new job....i haven't heard from her. Seriously.

She moved in early May, days after graduating and i haven't heard from her since. I've emailed her, called her, and even text message and not a word.

Maybe because i am slightly neurotic and easily rattled, but i have concluded that this can mean only two things.

1) She is having the Best time ever! She has her own apartment, she's getting a new car (that last time i checked). She met some hot geeky engineer (similar to her last boyfriend) who she is spending all her time with, along with a similar witty and fairly interesting best friend. Her job is wicked awesome, and she is spending her days doing average and fun 22 year old things. Who has time to call old bff's.

Now to the next scenario

2) She's having the Worst time ever! Marie has a tendency for exaggeration (who doesn't) and previous talks of dream car, dream life may not be. Maybe she hates her job at the pig farm thing. Maybe she hasn't gotten her dream car yet. Perhaps she is missing her college friends (and old high school buddy) but doesn't want to admit it. Maybe nothing exciting is going on. Maybe the dream life she envisioned for herself isn't so and she doesn't want to talk to me and have to BS on the phone.

I know I'm totally abandoning that middle ground. That she is probably busy with starting her new life,which is both exciting and boring. I'm not the middle ground kind of person, I'm just imagining a wickedly awesome life for her, which has no space for little old me.

She was mainly concerned about making friends. I know there was a crap load of other things she was concerned about because i am freaking out about them now. I'm concerned with whether i will like the place i am moving (regardless of being from there). Will i like my job?, will i met people? So maybe she is sorting those fears out combined with an attempt to make her home and life where's she at.

I don't know. It sucks to be left out of the loop for either scenario's.

Miranda is trying real hard to be Marie's replacement for the next two weeks. But i would rather avoid spending a day with her. I don't need a replacement. I don't want a replacement.

Is that what happens when you graduate and get a real job? You get all busy and disappear into a portal of marginally happy working stiffs. If that's the case, i would be so disappointed.