Money Woes.

I just spent $476.00 on a train ticket so I can go home for Thanksgiving this year. I can't even begin to explain how much of a dent that has put on my small wallet.

I wasn't even sure I would be able to go home this year. I put in my vacation request 3 weeks ago but Evil Manager never signed off on it. Though I wanted to go home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas...I really only cared about going home for Turkey day.

So on Monday when I walked into work ,still with no word on whether I would get those days off, I approached Evil Manager about the situation. She said that we needed to have a 'talk' later on during my shift regarding the days I wanted off.

A few hours later she took me int her office and said that they were no longer taking requests for the holidays. She went into this very long explanation about retail and the importance of the whole staff being available for the days before and following Thanksgiving and Christmas. But because I am reliable and am easy to work with the managers collectively decided that I would be the only one getting the time off requested for this holiday. I won't be added to the schedule that week, and I am not suppose to tell any of my co-workers about their decision to give me that week off.

Instead of leaving on the Sunday before Thanksgiving though, I now have to leave on Monday because they are going to need me to cover a morning shift. It was the only way they would agree to give me the rest of my vacation time off. Oh, and I can forget about going home for Christmas.

You win some. You lose some.

I bought the tickets today and my mom, of course, was very excited about the news. Hell, I'm excited. I love Turkey Day. I love Thanksgiving food and being around my family. But damn it all to hell if my bank account isn't suffering because of it. In a few months I will have to start paying student loans, which makes me queasy. I have been regularly paying down the lowest of my student loans since February 2009. But the big one won't become an issue until May which in student loan land is just around the corner.

The more and more I think about having to pay back student loans, the more I have to think about the job market and career choices. Which is the last thing I want on my mind. I've hit a creative high that last couple of weeks that I am riding on. I think it's the weather. I am much more a fall, cold weather, warm socks kind of girl than a warm weather, sandals chick. I bought a new writing notebook a few days ago, which I have been filling up with ideas and treatments.

I even went on a photo walk today (because taking photos calm me) where I tried to capture my obsession with light and shadow. I haven't felt this 'inspired' by my surroundings in a very long time and I want to embrace this energy while it last.

I am serious about wanting to utilize the writing scene here.I keep watching all of these shows on creative, funny people who were apart of acting troupes or writing groups who have gone on to create 'funny ass shit'. Case in point: Strangers with Candy. Did you know Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris and my favorite, Paul Dinello (swoon worthy) all met via a comedy improv troupe? Yeah, and then they became like a wicked awesome writing team. Creating some hilarious skits for me to watch. Like seriously.

I've been yearning to collaborate with a like minded creative individual(s). I want to sit around and be nerdy and come up with crazy funny, intellectual, subtle humor to present. I know they are out there. Hell, I'm out here.

If I had the funds I would seriously consider taking a short 4-6 week writing class to meet people and geek out. I want to learn the structures of dramatic and comedic writing along with my own interest in novels and short stories formatting.

And I wish I had the money to test all of these creative ventures out (participating in a writing/acting troupe scares and interests me). But alas, right now I not in the position to act on these wants. Even a tentative trip to the Whitney Museum of American Art next Thursday has me worrying about how much it will cost to see an Edward Hopper exhibit.

I hate worrying about money. I hate having to budget around the budget. I would kind of prefer the starving artist thing right now, because at least I would be contributing to my own work. Who needs food anyway. Because in all honesty, outside of this recent burst of creative energy I have spent the last year or so doing everything outside of creating things.

And I sort of want to do that again. Because the last few weeks have been great (well not the worrying about money part) because I have been able to be creative and make things again.