You are going to judge me.
I know this already. But I do not care because I am going to admit it anyway. And I will not be able to see your judgment through the screen so I am okay with writing the next sentence:
I may or may not be collecting syllabuses that I 'find' at work.
Let me explain.
I dread the holidays and the beginning of the Semester at Le Sad Store. The holidays because....well people are assholes around the holidays. The beginning of the Semester because despite Le Sad Store not caring textbooks we get customers everyday (both on the phone and in person) who ask if we carry them and then get all upset when we have to explain the difference between the text book division of our store and the 'trade' store. It never works out well.
When I say that we get calls from frantic students everyday looking for a textbook I mean every singe day until a month or so after the semester has started. Every single day. Every single hour. With the same damn stupid question:
"can you look up a book for me" "is it a textbook?" "well, um...not really" "what's the title?" "________ 7th edition" "that's a textbook. we don't sell those here".
And that's just from people who have the brain to call first. Most students just come to the store with a syllabus in one hand (see how I brought this back to the syllabus) and an attitude:
'I need this book?"
"what's the title"
"_______3rd edition"
"sounds like a textbook"
"well it's not"
"are you using it for a class"
"yes, but it's not a textbook"
"it has an edition attached to you, kind of implies that it may be a textbook?"
"well it's not. can you just look it up, I need it for school"
"fine"
"[scowl]...."
"[stank eye. typing]"......"
"[scowl. looking at syllabus]......"
"[typing. immense pleasure because I am right. snarky tone]....we don't have this book....because it's a textbook indicated by the edition attached to it"
"well then where am i suppose to get this book"
"i don't know...a textbook store...on your campus"
End Scene.
It doesn't always go this way. For the most part students are pleasant and really have no idea about the differences in a textbook store and 'regular' store. If they are nice or cute or nerdy I'll explain it to them and suggest the nearest store or website that may carry their book.
In South Carolina, where i went to school, we had a general Le Sad Store text book division and three mom and pop used textbook stores. I am not sure if they have that here because when I couldn't get my book for class at Le Sad Store I wen to Adams the used bookstore across the street. It was that simple. I guess it works a little differently here.
Today a few anxious looking students came to the store looking for all kinds of textbooks. As i was explaining to a very nerdy boy that we didn't carry his Graphic Illustrated textbook my co-worker was retrieving a William Faulkner book for someone taking an American Literature Class. A benefit of being a lit major is that most of the text read in those classes are novels which can be pretty cheap. Anyway, said Lit Guy accidentally left his syllabus at customer service. My co-worker was about to throw it in the garbage when I stopped her and said I wanted to take a look at it. Except by look I mean...keep it.
I have only collected a few. But this is hoarding to a new level. Who in the world collects syllabuses.
Some days I miss school. Jenn, the girl I may be looking for an apartment with in the city if I can get a job by May, is graduating college this semester and she is anxious as hell to leave. I completely understand her urgency to graduate. I saw her recently and all she could talk about was her eagerness to be done with school already. And I was shock to hear myself tell her that she'll miss school once she is done with it. "Trust me" I said solemnly. You will. And coming from me that has to mean something because I was over with school as soon as college began.
But I do miss my time at USC. Not even the important life changing elements of it. I miss reading nerdy things and dragging myself to class and cramming for tests at the last minute. I miss talking about my professors and dropping by the department for one on one sessions in my TA's crammed closet of an office. I miss dozing off in class or picking out that one guy I was going to have a crush on for the semester. I miss RateMyProfessor and Saturdays not studying in the library.
But most of all I miss the first day of class when the teacher hands out the pristine syllabus foreshadowing what you are in store of.
I hated and loved the first day of class. I could skip the whole 'lets introduce ourselves' portion, I never liked introducing myself the first day nut I loved getting the syllabus. The syllabus is like a resume. The professor is selling themselves (and their class) with their 2-3 page syllabus. I have dropped and added classes based this. It had reinforced my thoughts on the class and/or professor. I decided against dropping that Literary and Criticism course because the syllabus was awesome (and the professor was hot). I dropped that Shakespeare class because of a presentation project mentioned.
The syllabus is a deal maker or breaker and when I find them in the store, because some poor sap has lost it, I get all sorts of excited for reasons that I can only explain as nostalgia and longing. And plus it says a lot about the person teaching the course.
The syllabus I picked up today was very interesting. The moment I read the outline I knew that this was a young professor, from a pompous school who wishes to be a radical thinker while teaching the same texts one has read before. I was all kinds of judgemental especially after reading that he is teaching the "Great Gatsby" "The Sound and the Fury" and "The Crying of Lot 49" for an American Literature: 1920 to the Present class (not that these are bad text. They are all amazing. But a lot of significant shit was written during this time outside of these very familiar and famous novels)
And boy was I right. Because I was in the kids department all day I had the chance to google said professors name to get a better picture of who this chap is:
Yale graduate. Teaches Realism and 'Approaches to Literature". He is the poster boy for affluent hipster who added (almost as an afterthought) Ginsberg and Lahiri (Interpreter of Maladies) to his syllabus to be... 'different". There is a picture of him on the school website. Very crisp looking, very toothy, arms crossed and dressed out of a Tommy Hilfiger catalogue. Gross.
I read through his syllabus with a sense of scorn and indignation. Surely there are books other than the go-to ones that he could have used to represent the time between 1920-to the present. Not to say that those texts aren't important but come on....what is this high school honors English? Surely, he could draw better connections between the literature produced in relations to the significant social, economic and racial tensions of the time. If I had a class to teach I would....
Oh wait.
I discovered early on that teaching wasn't my thing. I could see myself doing it in a small capacity. Maybe as a visiting professor or speaker but nothing more. Teaching freaks me out. I can think back only to the times where my teachers (not professors generally) have broken down in front of the class while I looked on painfully from my seat. But some days, especially when I am holding a syllabus made my a very attractive but pompous professor teaching at a small liberal arts college in the north, I can't help but think about teaching my own class for a semester or so.
Of teaching a course where I can discuss nerdy nerd things (like Buffy or the Final Girl or 20th century influences that include the Lost Generation and the Harlem Renaissance or Teen Nostalgia) and draw connections and create gaps and challenge things. And yeah for the most part I would be the only one to find it interesting but who cares; it would give me a reason to investigate the things that mean something to me while I connect them to things that may mean something to a shy girl or boy who will one day steal syllabuses from college students at his or her job.
And as I try to find the space in my drawer to add another lost syllabus to the collection I cannot help but miss school and the whole learning/ nerding out thing. I can't help but toy with the idea of graduate level education and having my nose in a book for class again.
I often miss school a lot. Some night more than others.
~Beckett
PS. Today is my 1000 post. Can you believe it?!
I know this already. But I do not care because I am going to admit it anyway. And I will not be able to see your judgment through the screen so I am okay with writing the next sentence:
I may or may not be collecting syllabuses that I 'find' at work.
Let me explain.
I dread the holidays and the beginning of the Semester at Le Sad Store. The holidays because....well people are assholes around the holidays. The beginning of the Semester because despite Le Sad Store not caring textbooks we get customers everyday (both on the phone and in person) who ask if we carry them and then get all upset when we have to explain the difference between the text book division of our store and the 'trade' store. It never works out well.
When I say that we get calls from frantic students everyday looking for a textbook I mean every singe day until a month or so after the semester has started. Every single day. Every single hour. With the same damn stupid question:
"can you look up a book for me" "is it a textbook?" "well, um...not really" "what's the title?" "________ 7th edition" "that's a textbook. we don't sell those here".
And that's just from people who have the brain to call first. Most students just come to the store with a syllabus in one hand (see how I brought this back to the syllabus) and an attitude:
'I need this book?"
"what's the title"
"_______3rd edition"
"sounds like a textbook"
"well it's not"
"are you using it for a class"
"yes, but it's not a textbook"
"it has an edition attached to you, kind of implies that it may be a textbook?"
"well it's not. can you just look it up, I need it for school"
"fine"
"[scowl]...."
"[stank eye. typing]"......"
"[scowl. looking at syllabus]......"
"[typing. immense pleasure because I am right. snarky tone]....we don't have this book....because it's a textbook indicated by the edition attached to it"
"well then where am i suppose to get this book"
"i don't know...a textbook store...on your campus"
End Scene.
It doesn't always go this way. For the most part students are pleasant and really have no idea about the differences in a textbook store and 'regular' store. If they are nice or cute or nerdy I'll explain it to them and suggest the nearest store or website that may carry their book.
In South Carolina, where i went to school, we had a general Le Sad Store text book division and three mom and pop used textbook stores. I am not sure if they have that here because when I couldn't get my book for class at Le Sad Store I wen to Adams the used bookstore across the street. It was that simple. I guess it works a little differently here.
Today a few anxious looking students came to the store looking for all kinds of textbooks. As i was explaining to a very nerdy boy that we didn't carry his Graphic Illustrated textbook my co-worker was retrieving a William Faulkner book for someone taking an American Literature Class. A benefit of being a lit major is that most of the text read in those classes are novels which can be pretty cheap. Anyway, said Lit Guy accidentally left his syllabus at customer service. My co-worker was about to throw it in the garbage when I stopped her and said I wanted to take a look at it. Except by look I mean...keep it.
I have only collected a few. But this is hoarding to a new level. Who in the world collects syllabuses.
Some days I miss school. Jenn, the girl I may be looking for an apartment with in the city if I can get a job by May, is graduating college this semester and she is anxious as hell to leave. I completely understand her urgency to graduate. I saw her recently and all she could talk about was her eagerness to be done with school already. And I was shock to hear myself tell her that she'll miss school once she is done with it. "Trust me" I said solemnly. You will. And coming from me that has to mean something because I was over with school as soon as college began.
But I do miss my time at USC. Not even the important life changing elements of it. I miss reading nerdy things and dragging myself to class and cramming for tests at the last minute. I miss talking about my professors and dropping by the department for one on one sessions in my TA's crammed closet of an office. I miss dozing off in class or picking out that one guy I was going to have a crush on for the semester. I miss RateMyProfessor and Saturdays not studying in the library.
But most of all I miss the first day of class when the teacher hands out the pristine syllabus foreshadowing what you are in store of.
I hated and loved the first day of class. I could skip the whole 'lets introduce ourselves' portion, I never liked introducing myself the first day nut I loved getting the syllabus. The syllabus is like a resume. The professor is selling themselves (and their class) with their 2-3 page syllabus. I have dropped and added classes based this. It had reinforced my thoughts on the class and/or professor. I decided against dropping that Literary and Criticism course because the syllabus was awesome (and the professor was hot). I dropped that Shakespeare class because of a presentation project mentioned.
The syllabus is a deal maker or breaker and when I find them in the store, because some poor sap has lost it, I get all sorts of excited for reasons that I can only explain as nostalgia and longing. And plus it says a lot about the person teaching the course.
The syllabus I picked up today was very interesting. The moment I read the outline I knew that this was a young professor, from a pompous school who wishes to be a radical thinker while teaching the same texts one has read before. I was all kinds of judgemental especially after reading that he is teaching the "Great Gatsby" "The Sound and the Fury" and "The Crying of Lot 49" for an American Literature: 1920 to the Present class (not that these are bad text. They are all amazing. But a lot of significant shit was written during this time outside of these very familiar and famous novels)
And boy was I right. Because I was in the kids department all day I had the chance to google said professors name to get a better picture of who this chap is:
Yale graduate. Teaches Realism and 'Approaches to Literature". He is the poster boy for affluent hipster who added (almost as an afterthought) Ginsberg and Lahiri (Interpreter of Maladies) to his syllabus to be... 'different". There is a picture of him on the school website. Very crisp looking, very toothy, arms crossed and dressed out of a Tommy Hilfiger catalogue. Gross.
I read through his syllabus with a sense of scorn and indignation. Surely there are books other than the go-to ones that he could have used to represent the time between 1920-to the present. Not to say that those texts aren't important but come on....what is this high school honors English? Surely, he could draw better connections between the literature produced in relations to the significant social, economic and racial tensions of the time. If I had a class to teach I would....
Oh wait.
I discovered early on that teaching wasn't my thing. I could see myself doing it in a small capacity. Maybe as a visiting professor or speaker but nothing more. Teaching freaks me out. I can think back only to the times where my teachers (not professors generally) have broken down in front of the class while I looked on painfully from my seat. But some days, especially when I am holding a syllabus made my a very attractive but pompous professor teaching at a small liberal arts college in the north, I can't help but think about teaching my own class for a semester or so.
Of teaching a course where I can discuss nerdy nerd things (like Buffy or the Final Girl or 20th century influences that include the Lost Generation and the Harlem Renaissance or Teen Nostalgia) and draw connections and create gaps and challenge things. And yeah for the most part I would be the only one to find it interesting but who cares; it would give me a reason to investigate the things that mean something to me while I connect them to things that may mean something to a shy girl or boy who will one day steal syllabuses from college students at his or her job.
And as I try to find the space in my drawer to add another lost syllabus to the collection I cannot help but miss school and the whole learning/ nerding out thing. I can't help but toy with the idea of graduate level education and having my nose in a book for class again.
I often miss school a lot. Some night more than others.
~Beckett
PS. Today is my 1000 post. Can you believe it?!
2 comments:
heh heh. You're on the road to teaching. It all starts with imaginary syllabus planning. Next thing you know, you're in your seventh year of a PhD program with no time to work on your dissertation.
Seriously. I was NEVER interested in teaching until after I left college and realized I spent a LOT of time making up classes and syllabi in my head.
And truly, once you become the teacher - even as the greenest, rawest first-semester grad-student instructor flailing along - you realize from the beginning that you know WAY more than your students. So even in your non-expert form, you're about a million miles ahead of them.
It can be done, is all I'm saying.
It's hard to NOT put some of those obvious, go-to books on the syllabi. It's worse when you do this, and realize that two-thirds of your class hasn't actually ever read Great Gatsby.
I geek out with children's books and YA novels and tv shows and films and toys and all kinds of crap for my teaching job. It's awesome. When it sucks, it really sucks, but never as hard as, say, working at the bookstore. And when it's good? it's freaking mindblowing.
i'd collect syllabi, too, if it was an option. I love reading the syllabi my department puts on file.
you could do worse than to do an MAT (teaching masters) and do highschool english. i can't in good conscience recommend the PhD path, because there are already WAY, WAY WAY WAY too many english PhDs and not nearly even close to enough jobs for half of them.
teaching is a blast. it's acting, in a way - putting on your teacher costume and going in to nerd it up.
Oh! and your mix cd is getting completely redone. the previous incarnation was sucking and not coming together, but i had Inspiration earlier today so i've been assembling a much better playlist.
Happy 1000th!
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