She's Just Not That Into You....No, Seriously.

So I have this friend at work who left his pregnant wife for a cafe server soon after I started working at Le Sad Store. Yeah it was pretty bad.

For weeks all anyone could do was gossip about how 'distasteful' the whole thing was. He was 24 at the time and married a girl who he 'didn't really love but felt really close'to'. His exact words. A lot of people from work even attended their small wedding. And soon she became pregnant with their kid.

So when he started being really friendly with Cafe Chick, everyone silently judged. When he started being touchy touchy with her, every one was grossed out. And when he announced that he was leaving his now 8 months pregnant wife, well, everyone called him out on it.

This alone should have stopped me from being friends with him. Cheating is icky. I would feel all sorts of betrayed if the guy I was seeing decided he that needed someone else to satisfy him. I would feel all sorts of ashamed that I'd let this guy into my life only for him to step all over our commitment.


And cheating is cheating. Whether you are married or dating some guy or a girl, the moment you step outside of a relationship is wrong.

But me and this guy have grown to form quite the friendship outside my first initial impression of him. Outside of my lack of respect for his character and actions. In fact, despite him being a cheater, he's one of my closest friends at work. He introduced me to doctor who, we've hung out a billion time watching movies and talking about superheroes. I find him to be a funny, interesting though flawed friend.


But I've never 'agreed' with his relationship with this cafe server. Not just because he cheated on his wife with this chick. But as very platonic friend, I think it's safe to admit that Cafe Girl and him make an odd couple.

Their relationship has always been weird because outside of, i guess, sexual attraction,they are polar opposites. She is a moody girl, who complains a lot and takes things way to seriously. She is also a control freak. He is a childish man/child who cannot take anything seriously even when you want him to. And he often throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way and then expects everyone to care about what is ailing him.

She treats him like a child (she has reason too) and he relies on her like she is a mom. A bunch of us recently stopped going over their house (yep, they moved in together) because the tension between them was unbearable. I once went over to watch horror movies with him and when she came home I invited her to stay and join us in our horror marathon. She immediately accepted the invitation and took a seat next to him on the couch.

The complaints continued the instant she sat down. The popcorn was too salty, the movie sucked, why didn't he take out the recyclables, why were we talking through the movie. I quickly decided that I would stay until the movie ended and then make my way home to my safe pleasant house.

I don't know when the honeymoon period ended for them (or if it ever really started) but they fight nonstop in front of any and everyone. And not in a funny playful way. They argue about the stupidest things and then shoot each other 'i hate you' stares.


For the past year, he has made comments to everyone that he was going to break up with her. That she is an awful girlfriend who completely emasculates him in public. He talks badly about her nonstop when she isn't around to the point where we all sort of roll our eyes in a 'do it already or shut up' way.

And I know as a friend I should tolerate at least hearing about their failing relationship but to be honest I couldn't care less. A part of me attributes his complete misery in this relationship to karma. That he is getting exactly what he deserved.


Last week a couple of us went to an arcade( i slayed zombies like a champ) to blow off some steam. The whole bus ride there He wouldn't let up about his relationship problems. They hate each other, they don't talk, she doesn't want to be touched, he hates going home. I sort of zoned out. Then tried to change the conversation. Then zoned out again and played with my camera phone.


I just can't take pity on a cheater who is now miserable in his current relationship. I can't. And the fact that they've both let it go on this long is just....dumb.

But we were all sort of surprised when a few days ago he posted online that he was now single! That they were finally over! But it wasn't him who pulled the plug

After months of talking badly about her to other people, wishing he would have stayed with his ex-wife, getting customers number at work ( I forgot to add that part) and telling every one that Cafe Server was the worst mistake in his life....she left him.

She told him that she was no longer loved him and that she needs to move on with her life.



Oh-em-gee.


I of course found all of this out via facebook (the site is becoming a headache) and sent him a text message. He said that he wanted tell me what happened in person and if I was able to grab coffee or something. This was Friday and surprisingly I had plans to hang out with Heather (i adore this girl) that afternoon. I told him that I was going to be busy most of the day but that I could swing by work later for a little while.


I was having a perfectly nerdy time with Heather the next day, which made having to see him (and hear about the breakup) even more of a nuisance. Heather and I watched Kickass at her house while eating pizza and filling in our life experiences. She showed me so more job sites to beef up my search and I looked over her resume to give some feedback. The fact that I've made a friend who is like me in so many ways is amazing. The fact that I have a friend outside of Le Sad Store is even better. We are really hitting it off.

And just as she was convincing me to give the Harry Potter series a try (she wants to have a harry potter movie marathon before the last one comes out in July) I got a text from Him asking where I was. I didn't even realize that it was getting late and me and Heather were still having a blast.Though I hate using phones while hanging out with people, I excused myself to text him back saying 'I'm in the middle of something, but I'll be there as soon as I can'. I apologized to Heather for having to put an end to our awesome day but 'my friend just broke up with his girlfriend.....drama time'.

She dropped me off at work and I found him sulking in the break room. The first thing he said was 'I can't believe she broke up with me. I gave up everything for her and loved her'.

Um, weren't you just badmouthing her two days ago, didn't you just show me a picture of some chick you went on a 'kinda date' with while Cafe Chick went on a trip. I don't understand why suddenly there is an about face. Why suddenly you are the victim in your relationships demise.

I didn't think it was possible that someone could get more annoying without a significant other but he is proving otherwise. Suddenly, in a platonic way of course, I have had to console him in his heartache. He wants to talk all the time. He wants to know what went wrong and why. He wants to win her back because outside of hating her guts, he loves her. He can't believe she broke up with him first.

There is only so much I can tolerate as a girl. During these conversations I find myself drifting to a place where his voice cannot be heard. I find myself wanting to say something incredibly rude like 'maybe she broke up with you because while she wasn't the best girlfriend (and actively pursued a married man) you aren't a good boyfriend at all".

The guy is 26! Divorced, a father and still lacking any sense of responsibility for everything he does. How do you accumulate this much baggage at 26? How do you expect anyone (especially) me to feel pity.

I have no idea what to do. He wants me to help him look for an apartment in the next week or so, but I fear that he will suggest that the two of us should become roommates (hell no). Or worse. That I will fully grow so sick of hearing about how 'she wronged him' that I will be incredibly rude and distance myself from him.

Because while I disagree with their whole relationship, Cafe Chick may have a point. Why stay with someone you aren't completely interested in. Why continue shaking up in an apartment when you cannot tolerate the sight of each other. Maybe, simply put, she is just not interested in being his girlfriend anymore. And to tell you the truth, I can't really fault her.