I told Sean I had a nightmare about hell the other night.
I told him this because we were talking about dreams and i had one about one of his cats. I then mentioned, the hell one, because it's the second one i've had this year.
He looked at me and said he knew why i was having dreams about Hell.
I asked him why.
He said he didn't want to tell me because I would get upset.
I said i wouldn't get upset. I pinky swore.
So he says:
Sean: Maybe you were visiting somewhere there. Maybe the dream is representing a place someone you love currently resides
Me: ???? who would i be visiting in hell ????
Sean: Well, you know, i mean, your best friend did kill herself---according to the bible---
Me: (complete shock and utter disgust)
Sean: You said you wouldn't get mad
Me: You just said my best friend is in hell because she killed herself
Me: (hysterical crying)
Sean: (silence)
3 comments:
Wow.
Okay, first, don't dwell on this, okay? Don't let your mind go to Sean's crazychristiantown. Either there's a god, in which case Marie would NOT be in hell because no suffering person would go there, or there is no god, in which case Marie is nowhere, not even in a symbolic vision of exile.
But with that out of the way...just, wow. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry he's so insensitive, and so cruel. I'm sorry there's no hell for men who treat women like shit. I'm sorry he's such a shitty friend that he can't, after all this time, understand what NOT to say when it comes to Marie.
Did you tell your friends about this? Or what about Sean's cousin? You need someone to issue a verbal smackdown on the kid, and you shouldn't have to be the one to do it.
And if the dream dictionary is to be believed, dreaming about hell would more likely relate to the situation you find yourself trapped in with Sean than anything else. :(
what's interesting is that the dream I was talking about involved him and hell. Not Marie at all. I'm about to write about it now but in the dream we are in the car and he is talking about his girlfriend and I explain that every time he brings her up I get upset. But instead of understanding what I am saying he gets angry and the road that we were driving on turns into a series of turns and all of a sudden we are on this road paved in red with fire surrounding us on all sides. And he doesn't notice the flames, because he is too busy yelling at me, but I can feel the heat on me. I can see the flames get worse. But I didn't tell him this aspect of the dream because he'd already said he thought I was dreaming about Marie cause, you know, she's in hell and all.
The boy is a jackass and it literally happened less than 12 hours ago so I haven't told anyone. I don't think I will. It's as if he lacks empathy. And I knew he was going to say what he was going to say. I knew it but I wanted him to confirm all the awful things I know about him.
Ugh.
well, freud would say that none of the elements of your dream were actually what they were - they are ALL stand-ins for other things/people/places. so the sean-figure and the car-figure and the hell-figure have nothing to do with sean, a car, or hell.
what a shitfuck. what a terrible thing to say to someone. i mean, DUH, yeah, christianity is a mean bully and i'm guessing most people with half a brain know the old position on suicides and hell. but who even THINKS about that stuff anymore, like seriously? who even thinks it's okay to say things like that?
i agree with Perpetua that you ought to enlist someone else (that cousin sounds like a good guy) to put sean in his place about this one. it needs to come from someone else because obviously the kid has his head up his own ass when it comes to you. but someone outside, saying "dude, did you really tell beckett her friend was in hell? that was a shit move, why were you such an asshole?"
he needs to hear it. it's less about you sharing with someone else (though you'd have to, obviously) as it is about getting a third party, but one that he trusts/respects/appreciates, to let sean know just how strong the asshole is with that one.
i've been thinking for awhile is suicide is maybe analogous to people with, say, late stage terminal illnesses deciding to end their lives. when those people die, we say "they aren't suffering any more, it's a good thing." and we should maybe say that about people who are depressed or have other mental illnesses. and of course when anyone dies it's not a good thing - that's why death sucks, because someone goes away and doesn't come back - but it's been an interesting exercise for me to think about suicide as "mercy killing." it's made me feel much less angry, and much less guilty, about the old friend of mine who committed suicide.
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