World Record

Six days ago my landlady dropped a bombshell on me. She and her daughter are moving to Connecticut. End of September. Less than 3 weeks notice. This is some illegal ass shit and needless to say I am more than pissed.

However my industrious nature has payed off. A friend and I checked out a place yesterday and it was great. A small efficiency (a studio without a kitchen) with a private bath and entrance from the main cottage style house in a small college town nearby.

Six days. Six whole days. I lost a place and gained a place. My current landlady, the one who put me in this jam, is being a total turd and refuses to give me my deposit until i am completely moved out of the room i occupy now. This is unacceptable. She gave me less than a months notice. She sprung this shit on me out of nowhere and now she won't give me back the deposit I need so i can move. My mom says I should take her to court (but nothing was signed when i moved in), My friends think i should 'beat her ass' which has crossed my mind every night this week.

Instead I've opted to move out this Monday. My new landlady wants someone to occupy the space as soon as possible and while i was hoping to have more time to go through my stuff, I want and need my money back from the lady i rent from now. If i move out Monday she owes me my deposit and half of Septembers rent which I paid for days before she told me the news.

I have never been more stressed in my life. Between packing and taking extra shifts at work and searching for a place and seeing places I am a little worn out. I haven't admitted this to anyone. I do not know how to accept help. I have never known how to accept it because I fear being a burden on people. It is my worst fear since i was a kid. But this time around I haven't had much choice but to accept a little bit of help. A friend from work drove me to the place yesterday. Kat and her boyfriend will help me move on Monday. My mom has all but given me all of firsts month rent to live in this place. My friend Justin offered to bring my packed lunches if i can't afford food the first few weeks. My cousin is giving me his old dresser.

The amount of support I have gotten in such a sort time has overwhelmed me. I worry about being lovable. I think I am incapable of it. And this week, though I haven't asked for much help, the people in my life have gone above and beyond to do so. I can't even comprehend why  but they have. And it means more to me than they will ever know.

Hopefully the clusterfuck of this situation will come to a close soon. My new 'studio' has a built in bookshelf and a reading nook and five large windows. I've been asking for a change for such a long time I guess I needed a bit of a push.

Le Sigh.