Hot Librarian

I'm officially done moving. The moving guys came today and moved the rest of our stuff. Things that no man could carry without moving tools. Since I've gotten home from summer school all I have been doing is moving, and am now happy that lounging is in my near future.

My brother has a way with people, and after they were done moving they seemed to linger to find out more about us. I had to meet them at the old place early in the morning, and they kept asking me where I was from yadda yadda yadda. The larger of the two kept calling me "sweetie" and the skinny one thought my name was Sara. Perhaps I look like a Sara. I was wearing my Led Zeppelin shirt, and apparently something about a girl wearing a rock t-shirts gets people intrigued. It was clearly the only clean shirt I could find at 6:30am.

When they arrived at the new place, Morgan had just woken up and came downstairs to do...Nothing. The skinny one with the tats wanted to know where I was going to school and what my major is. I must say I hate telling people that I am a biology major. Eyes get huge, and then they always say "don't get caught up with wanting a boyfriend, that can only lead to trouble". ??? Can it lead to trouble? What is this trouble people are speaking of? This isn't the first time I have hear this. Maybe I have a "she'll get to attached and divert from her studies" written on my forehead. I don't know.

I know that people are complex individuals. I know that everyone has different needs and wants. but I figure that if you share the same basic need of companionship then where does the trouble lie. In the 9th grade my stupid Life teacher made us do a speech on soulmates. He is deemed the "life' teacher because our high school made every freshman take this stupid "how to succeed in life" course. No lie. It was a whole class on how to not sweat the small stuff. Trying to discover who we were. I got an A in the class, but maybe not in life.

It was actually a pretty fun class. That's how I learned I was an INFP, and we had to give reports on career choices, we watched a bunch of videos and role played. At the end of the semester we had to give speeches on a topic the class chose. Of course having a class full of 9th graders the majority of the them wanted to give speeches on soulmates. BLAH. It wasn't even that I hadn't ever thought of soulmates, cause I had, but I don't assume that soulmates are just one individual who you fall madly deeply in love with, it's just people(male or female) who have a strong connection. And I also don't like talking about stuff like what I look for in a guy to a bunch of my classmates. Nevertheless, I had prepared a 7 minute speech on what I wanted in a soulmate. Oh...along with giving a speech in front of 30 people in my class, we had to give the speech also in front of My Ex-Speech's teacher class. 20 or so debate students who wanted nothing more than to rip us a new one.

So what did I say in my speech? Why I don't see the "trouble" in relationships, that maybe I am to naive to admit...Oh...before I get to that. The previous speeches were pretty weird. One girl Miranda, pranced around the stage with a completely memorized speech that she unfortunately kept forgetting. One girl Tara, who was really cool, freaked us all out by saying she wanted a man just like her grandfather, so she went through a list of attributes that her grandfather had. WEIRD.

I don't remember all that I wrote and what I said...but I remembered mainly saying that I wanted someone to make me feel like I was always at home. That no matter where we were, the comfort of that person would never make me feel lost, alone, scared, or vulnerable. I guess in a sense looking back now the "soulmate" would be the person who provided me with the security I have been looking for.

But relationships and people are weird and fickle. And I don't know if I believe that anymore. Maybe the trouble with relationship lay in believing all of that. Cause what I have observed is very different from the ideal of it. And honestly at 20 I don't see the comfort of that being presented to me. And I don't even know if I would be ready for it. I can't even get a drivers License for goodness sakes yet alone am I ready to even consider(though I can think about frequently) the complexity that are people.

I feel like this is the first day of my summer vacay. With school and moving I have not had the time to actually do things. I don't even know what I want to do, I just know it involves not being trapped in this house for a solid month. So far I have gone to the library and checked out 6 books I hope to finish. None are romance books, though I was tempted. The whole romance genre is bizarre and lets not forget the childish giggling with those totally unrealistic sexual encounters. But sometimes I just want to read trash. Wind dancer is the only "romance" book I genuinely consider a decent piece of literature.

Not having a license though has not stopped me from driving around, and doing usual me things. My mom is trying to convince me to get a job, I would rather volunteer, because I don't think the free clinic pays me. I already applied to work in the library for the fall semester. It's the only job I want and I'd hope to rock the hot librarian look when school starts up again.

In other unrelated news I can't wait to see Strangers With Candy and Clerks 2