Feeling kind of low.
Grades are coming in and this semester has been a bust.
I'm not an idiot i know this. I am certain of this. But i can't help but feel like an idiot after studying relentlessly for a math exam that didn't go as planned.( and by relentlessly i meant Friday, Saturday, and Sunday without TV or music, emersed in math). Or even(and by even i mean epsecially) after taking a Bio exam that didn't go as planned either, and thus i am feeling low. Very low. Lowest then the lowest academic low i have ever felt. And i feel like crawling under the sheets. A blow to the ego....yes. But more importantly it's a blow to what i know i am capable of doing and what i can put forth.
Why did i have to figure out what i wanted to do during my junior year of college. It could have saved me and my GPA a look of heartache.
I have already changed my summer classes from science oriented classes to more writing focused ones. I'm both looking foward to it, and incredibly scared. My mom told me to keep my head up...and after sulking and hiding under the covers, i grew tired of wallowing...So i'm trying to keep my head above water, but i'm not ready just yet.
Grades are coming in and this semester has been a bust.
I'm not an idiot i know this. I am certain of this. But i can't help but feel like an idiot after studying relentlessly for a math exam that didn't go as planned.( and by relentlessly i meant Friday, Saturday, and Sunday without TV or music, emersed in math). Or even(and by even i mean epsecially) after taking a Bio exam that didn't go as planned either, and thus i am feeling low. Very low. Lowest then the lowest academic low i have ever felt. And i feel like crawling under the sheets. A blow to the ego....yes. But more importantly it's a blow to what i know i am capable of doing and what i can put forth.
Why did i have to figure out what i wanted to do during my junior year of college. It could have saved me and my GPA a look of heartache.
I have already changed my summer classes from science oriented classes to more writing focused ones. I'm both looking foward to it, and incredibly scared. My mom told me to keep my head up...and after sulking and hiding under the covers, i grew tired of wallowing...So i'm trying to keep my head above water, but i'm not ready just yet.
4 comments:
grades don't show what you're really capable of. trust me on this. i went to a college with no grades at all. now, giving them to students, i see how weird a system GRADES are at all.
it's an arbitrary measurement.
and exams? bullshit.
i'm glad you're switching out of sciences. i think you'll feel a lot more comfortable, and at home, and excited, in writing/english classes. words do amazing and beautiful and terrifying things.
you know i think you're aces!!! and you have talent and skill and something to say, which is what a good writer needs.
(great kurt halsey picture, by the way. i do love him. do you think he'd marry me?)
It will be okay. Honest. You're too good a writer to be pulled so low by something like GRADES. Kbryna had some great advice :)
Hey, kiddo ~~~ You've been tagged!
I totally relate. My grades made me want to cry too and I studied my ass off. At some point, I have to stop replaying in my head the stupid answers I wrote and the things that I stupidly ommitted. I have to remember that life is about striving to find something productive and meaningful to do and that school is just one step on that grand staircase of calling. Gotta keep things in perspective. And it doesn't hurt to remind myself of successful people who also sucked in school.
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