Slowly Mending Fences

After Wednesday cat fight on the View (to my pleasure of course) i decided "Hey i should write Marie, so we don't have a fallout like Rosie and Elisabeth".

She sent me an email the other day after being unable to contact me via phone. She wrote:

Hey Beck,

I guess the evil organic monster destroyed you, or you've passed out from sheer exhaustion. Anyway just wanted to catch up and see what's going on...i.e do you have a nephew yet, are you ever getting a break, etc. I have officially finished the semester without tragic death, and without anything below a B :) I broke up with [my boyfriend] for being an ass, but maintain doggy visitation (I'm weird). [my sister] is moving in with me on June 1st commonly known as D day. I only need like 3 classes to graduate so I'm not taking any summer classes and have gotten a second job at the swine farm, which is not as gross as it sounds and is kind of fun....Hope to hear from you soon (gotta have somebody to bitch with)~:) Marie

How could i not respond to her after this. I admit sometimes i am horrible friend. I'm a great person to hang around, I'm funny, pretty much up for anything, and i try to keep conversations going. Sometimes in conversations i feel like a journalist, i ask questions without being overbearing...my mom says people like to talk about themselves, so the way to keep a fledgling conversation going is to ask questions about the other person. Though i rarely listen to my moms "GUIDE TO PEOPLE" advice, in this case she has been proven somewhat right.

The reason why i can sometimes be a horrible friend is because i don't really like talking on the phone. I rarely call, email, send smoke signals out to people. When i was 12, i could spend at least 2 hours on the phone with my BFF. When i was 8, i called my friend everyday. I use to jump on the kitchen counter, dial her number by heart and talk endlessly which is weird because she lived right around the corner. I use to love the phone, i use to call people, but i just don't anymore.

The only way me and Marie talk is if she calls me. I don't take initiative, i should really start. Taking initiative is a big deal, i remember my journalism teacher said it was the one thing i lacked. Of course I hated her after that. But she was right, i lack it not only in my journalistic ability(which is none) but also in my life. My lack of initiative comes from fear. Fear of...I don't know. I guess friends, taking the initiative to get closer, may lead me to be hurt by them. Creatively, fear of finishing anything, because someone might think it royally sucks. Taking an initiative to create a life with friends, family and a boyfriend, because i fear that i may not possibly be able to do so.

But i think i have to start taking initiative, put all those fears behind me, and move forward. Make efforts, and test the waters.

First initiative, writing Marie back and stop ignoring her.

HEY!!

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Organic was crazy hard, and after spending a whole semester studying for it i was pretty wiped out. I've officially changed my major to English, shocking i know, but my professors say i have this thing called TALENT(who knew) for creative writing, so I've been working on my writing more than biology and chemistry books these days. I'm taking both summer sessions, to get caught up with the English requirements, and I still have to squeeze in my bio and chem minors. Sounds incredibly fun i know, but someones got to do it. I do have a nephew now, his name is Elijah Daniel...I hate the middle name(benjamin was so much nicer). Mom and Morgan have been going crazy with the baby pictures. He's a cute kid but seriously how much clothes does the kid need, i think at this point he has more clothes than i do and he's only like 2 weeks old. Just saying. Doggy Visitation? you are seriously like the only person who would require doggy visitation, HILARIOUS. I'm sorry [Boyfriend] was/is being an ass, and i'm also sorry about D day hopefully it won't be THAT bad. I'll be home until June 3rd or the 4th, i can't remember which. We can do something this weekend, if you are free, i don't think my mom has anymore chores for me to do, and the tiredness is being to wear off. Just call, my phone is always low on battery or I've misplaced it(i hate my phone), but I'll keep it strapped to me if i have too.

Talk to you later

Beckett

Job well done if i do say so myself, minus the lying about the cell phone thing. But whatever.