The Art of Schmoozing.

On the Sims when you want to get your kids accepted to a private you have to invite the headmaster over and for 3 minutes (about 2 hours in normal time) you have to wine and dine this guy so your kids can go to a private school. Don't ask me how i know this. I of course would never make a Me and Sufjan Stevens Sims who would want their four children to attend a private school. Never.

The point is the more you schmoozer the guy(talk about your job, the private school, your kids) the more likely you are to get your brats into a private school.

I am not much of a schmoozer in real life. I don't feel the need to feed someone bullshit to gain something. It just isn't how i work. I would rather earn something on my own merit, without having to suck up. Of course there are those out there who get things because of their ability to schmooze. I try to stay as far away from those people as possible.

There is this guy at work, Stephen( the french one, not Rock And Roll) and he is a schmoozer all the way. He pronounces his name Stef-en, and carries the pompous French thing around with like a badge of honor. He's a French major who randomly begins speaking french for no reason. When i first met him i thought he would be the best gay friend I've never had, but instead...everyone thinks that we have a thing going on because i agreed to help him study.


Let me back up a little. When we first met he said "hey we are in the same history class". I didn't take it as much. I've taken plenty of classes with people i work with, and i usually don't say anything to them in class. Unfortunately i made the mistake of saying that History was one of my favorite subjects. When our first test came around I made an A while he made a D. This apparently did not go to well with him, because the next day we went from being co-workers to instant best friends.


He sits to me now in class, he sits next to me a work, stands next to me at work, follows me around at work, and tries to butter me up. I knew what was coming. I can smell a schmoozer from a mile away. As we were standing in line (because did i mention he know walks to the bookstore with me) he asked if we wanted to study "You know since we are friends and all". Because i am nice i agreed to study with him, but it is becoming more and more annoying to realize that he is hanging out with me ( and possibly playing the gay best friend card) because he wants to ace the next test and paper (which he suggested we go over so we could "both" benefit from it).


While i know that he is using me, everyone at work thinks he likes me on a more than a friend level and that i am being a prude for rejecting his advances. I feel like i am in kindergarten. The first time Amanda noticed his clinging she was all "OMG Stef-en totally likes you". I didn't want to say that my spidey senses were telling me he isn't in to girls so i said something like "Eww. gross no way".


This got everyone in the office speculating. I mean he's attractive, he dresses nice, he takes care of himself...and i don't like him. So i must be a lesbian. Yes people i am a lesbian because I'm not attracted to guy who likes guys. You can never win in this place. They joke around with this Stef-en thing everyday in the office. "Oh you're boyfriends here" "Look he's coming with you to make sure you don't stray". And because he wants an A, he thinks that i am totally falling for the "gay best friend/crush worthy" thing (which i sort of am), ignoring the whole fact that i have a crush on Rock and Roll (which they don't and won't ever know). When did my life become a mini soap opera?


I'm studying with him this afternoon, and if the motherfucker thinks I'm writing his paper he has another thing coming. He is not my type or that hot for that to go down.

He is nice, i will say that. His motives could be geniune and i am doing the weird find some excuse not to hang out with him. But it's frustrating for Amanda and Kathleen to throw this scenerio in my face as if I should be attracted to any one who shows some interest. Even though they don't seem to catch on that it's a "let's watch The devil wears prada" interest rather than a "i have a crush on you interest" (We have had detailed conversations on how great that movie is)


Amanda made some critique last week that if i want a boyfriend i should dress like a slut ( in relation to my dressing style and non boy mojo). I swear to bob she said this. I don't have to be a slut, i just have to prance around in clothing revealing a lot of skin so boys will come my way. Any attention in her mind is better than none. I've sort of made a decision that if a boy is hanging around me because i am dressed like a slut, well than i don't want him.


This sex roles class I am taking is a lot more interesting that i first thought. We are learning all about social norms and things. In order for women to get a man she must exert such characteristics as frailty, helplessness, and femininity. Or in the words of a Amanda "dress like a slut". Not only do we play into these roles but men do as well, expecting all women to like the whole macho, in your face sort of thing. It creeps me out. A part of me isn't willing to conform to these roles which may be hindering the boy thing.

I'm just getting the hang of being myself, which for the most part has nothing to do with social norms. I mean it's about being comfortable with opening up to people, flirting or not flirting with Rock and Roll, and feeling content in my life. I guess this added pressure to have a relationship, dress some certain way (slutty) is all too much. Because at the end of the day I'm completely okay with where I'm at in my life, who I'm becoming, and my potential. And i find that pretty damn attractive. Way more attractive than exposed boobs and a made up face.

I'm just saying. Rock and Roll doesn't seem to mind.

I had a pleasant conversation with him today. I'm still embarrassing myself hardcore but it's worth it. I may have admitted that I've dreamed of being a ninja, i may have admitted that boxing is thoroughly exciting, and i may have admitted that a day without coffee is a day not worth seeing. But he didn't run for the hills. He simply took off his hat (revealing the prettiest hair I've ever seen) and smiled. I'm falling hardcore in crush mode with this kid, despite him being 2 years younger than me.

Amanda said something offensive to him in the office when we were talking. So him and his friend left. I figured i could stay in the office with her and learn more about being a slut, or go out there, find him, and chat. So i excused myself from the office (with some lame excuse) and found him and his friend in the corner talking. I joined in, stayed for a hell of a long time, and caught some glances my way when he thought i wasn't looking. I don't know who this person is staring back at me. The still nervous and anxious me, but someone taking a lot more risks to get to know some guy she likes.

Who would have thunk it?