I am usually very good at interviews. If i could put that on my resume i would, but at the risk of sounding pompous and arrogant i refrain. But because I'm more of a one on one person, my interview skills are good. I'm personable, genuine, and funny when it's just me and one other person. I can't say I'm like that all the time, but when it comes down to talking with a professor or an employee...it seems to come out of nowhere.
Last Thursday i had an interview with this staffing agency. They place you in a job that fits "your" needs. When a representative first called me, i was super excited. I mean i need a job, and to get a phone call from some lady talking about a potential job opportunity out of the blue is wicked awesome. As the days got closer and closer to our meeting i became a little less enthusiastic about the whole thing. I looked up the staffing place on line and noticed that most of the jobs were administrative assistant work. Putting the word administrative in front of assistant doesn't hide the stench of a desk job and a life of boredom.
The meeting was in Connecticut, and the morning of i was not to happy about going. I couldn't figure out what to wear (since everyone in this town is dressed like a model from vogue which makes me look like a bum) because my clothes reek of college life. I bought an ugly shirt from H & M (which is shocking because it's a great store) that i refused to wear. It's nice but wasn't at all my style and i spent a good 30 minutes taking it off and putting it back on. After all of that I wore something more "me" which consisted of a cardigan and trousers.
My mom came along because she wanted to explore the town while i had my interview. She was more excited about the job then i was. She kept giving me interview tips the whole bus ride there, which drove me crazy to no end. After getting lost on foot, flailing down a cab, and arriving two hours early to the building way outside of the city, i was sweaty and hungry. Luckily there was a Italian restaurant right next door, which me and my mom dinned in until i had to leave.
For some reason, my interview skills failed me that day. If you could say all the completely wrong things to say during an interview, i did ("i plan on traveling in the near future' "there may be an internship soon" "my dream job is in editorial work" "this would be good though until something better comes up"). Though this is just a staffing place, and they were just interviewing me as an candidate for placement in one of the companies affiliated with them...i still sucked. By the time i arrived up there i was full (from the pizza and bread) sweaty (from the walking) and irritable (because i knew this would not provide me placement in a creative job).
The rep and I have been corresponding since early August, via email and phone. When i met her i wanted to stand by the impression i made with her on the phone. But as i walked in sweaty, limping (heels) and full, i knew this was not going to go as planned.
She asked me questions from my resume which i was not expecting. She asked me about my favorite class in college, my experience with Microsoft, and how much i wanted to make. For some reason i couldn't produce a good answer for any of them. I made up for that with some witty observation which she thought was very funny. But then came the part where she explained what job she had in mind for me:
An administrative assistant at Firm specializing in speciality insurance.
Let the boredom begin.
Though i am usually good at fanning excitement/interest for things i don't care about, i do not think i showed that during this part of the interview. I once listened to a friend of mine talk about a Sci-fi series the whole bus ride from school to his house. He would have never known that i did not like sci-fi things, and did not read the book he loaned me were it not for Marie and her big mouth.
As she started talking about speciality insurance, i felt my body go numb. I was trying with desperation to suppress a yawn, and my eyes kept moving from her face to a pretty object in the corner. You know when you're really tired and your eye lids become so heavy you can't even keep them up. Well...that's pretty much what happen. There was a point when she was talking about cow insurance that my head may have nodded a little. When it was all over and done with i thanked her for her time and limped back downstairs. Needless to say i don't think I'll be hearing from her again.
In the few days i have had to readjust the plans for myself. I want so badly to work in a related field, if not for the money than surely for the experience. My mom left today, and though i was confidant that i would not be upset, i literally wept on the Metro when she left . I was suppose to take her to Grand Central Station and then ride the train back, but she wanted to make sure i got on the right train home so she waited with me until my train came. I still had about 10 minutes before my train departed, so i quickly said goodbye gave her a long hug, and then sat on the stalled car.
As i waited, these tears just came streaming down my face. Like uncontrollably. I swiped at my eyes the best that i could, but to no avail. She of course was still waiting outside and came to my window to see me balling my eyes out. She kissed me goodbye through the window and then left. Which of course caused even more tears.
It's a little lonely here, even though i have my aunt, and two cousins (but the three year old doesn't count because she is still working on articulating her thoughts) . I am starting at the bottom and i have to build something new and fresh for myself in a town that has changed so much since i was last here. I walk around and i see people with their friends and i hope that i will have that too. I want some aspect of a social/work life. But i know the only way i can make friends, create some sort of career for myself, and get rid of this homesickness is to get immersed in the writing/and or academic world. I need to be around people with my same interest, and working at some crap job being an assistant for a speciality insurance firm will make me depressed.
No one has yet to contact me about a publishing job, and i have just applied to an fall internship (not the main internship which would start January 1st) at a small publishing company in the city. It is unpaid, but i figure 15 hours/week and a part time job on the side may do the trick. I have a crap load of stuff to do, but it's worth it. I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time and i can't let nerves, loneliness, and a little sadness deter me.
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