Leaving is Hard to Do

I am about to go to the post office to mail some of my stuff 'home'. Working at the bookstore means that I now have a collection of books I have not yet read but of course plan to read before who knows when. Literally I have 20 or so new novels lying around. I have read about 4 of them completely. My mom is eager for me to start sending my things home, but I've slacked on that.

This moving shit is no fun. Yesterday my co-worker (and friend) walked me half way home, and I realized as we strolled down the street, that I never want to leave this place. In between our conversation about Heroes and the nickname I have been given at work (Penny. From Inspector Gadget), I was consumed by dread. That once again I have to leave a place just at the moment when things are looking up. And all I could think about on the way home was that I don't want to leave. Not now anyway. For once, my life is not perfect but it isn't completely horrible. I am creating something here. I have started construction on my life and I don't want to leave right when the foundation is being put up.

I don't know what to think about being home for 6 weeks. I am happy to go but not all too thrilled because I know while I am there I will want to escape back to my life here. And I am hoping that not too much changes when I come back. I want to start off right where I left with no major setbacks and roadblocks. Because in all honesty that's what happens when you leave. You come back and nothing was the way you left it, and you have to figure out where you left off.

I am desperately going to miss being here. I am going to miss my friends and even my job. I am going to miss feeling like things are going in my favor for once. I am going to miss my life, the life I don't completely hate.