Are you Funny, or just Funny Looking

Yesterday I went to the most amazing place in the whole entire world. Seriously. On Broadway there is an office located on the 10th floor of a building in Soho. I mean right in Soho. Right in the heart of the place. Where I was going (for the interview) is actually right across the street from where I had my roof top luncheon with the editor for a children's publishing company. Except this time I didn't have to bring my aunt with me because I knew the way. This time I knew exactly where I was going, where the closest pizza place was, and where I could sit for a while until my interview time.

I have not been back to the city since I stepped off the train a few weeks ago. And seriously, whenever you think this place sucks, whenever you are just about to jump of the figurative edge, just being in the city pulls you back. Seeing the tall buildings, and being surrounded by faces (local and non local) gives you some sense that you are alive. That people are literally two heart beats away from being completely the same, and that is when all your angst falls away. It did for me anyway.

I had a very important interview yesterday, for a newspaper that is very popular in the north east. It isn't your normal sort of news though, it's news served up with a pinch of college humor and a crapload of BS, but people love it. Got to love the funnies. I vaguely heard about them in school, but only passing and when I wasn't paying attention to care about a 'not real' newspaper. When I started listening to This American Life, there was a piece on [them] which I thought was pretty funny and ever since then I've go to the website every once in a while to check out the funny though faux news.

That is all I am allowed to say, or all I want to say because I don't want to get my hopes up. The place was filled with people my age, wearing converse shoes and walking around with Mac computers. There was so much going on that i got caught up in the actors sitting next to me rehearsing their lines and the guys down the loft reading each others work and laughing. I felt out of place not because I really was, but because for the last two weeks I have been in an office with 2 middle aged women discussing why chest hair on the cover of romance novels is forbidden.

The moment I stepped off the elevator and was greeted by the receptionist who looked like Pam from The Office (which I don't think was a coincidence when they hired her) I knew I wanted to be there. I wanted to be in that loft with these people doing whatever the hell they were doing. But I am not really confident about the interview. I stumbled on the questions, didn't fully understand what my role would be and I kept swiveling in the swivel chair (don't do interviews in swivel chairs) but I made the interviewer laugh (he was seriously like 2 years older than me) and I tried to give off a "I'm a comfortable, fun, reliable person to be around. Have me as your intern please"

The interview did not last long. I walked out not so confidant that they would ever allow me to have such a cool internship with boys wearing glasses and girls in ballerina shoes. Of course, afterwards, when I was on the train home I couldn't help but feel as if I had blown the whole thing. What I wouldn't do to have this internship. What I wouldn't do to go there every week and be apart of a creative team. He said he would let me know next week, but I can't help but feel that I have just let the greatest thing to come my way (in a few months) slip out of my hand. I can't help but feel as if the place I want so desperately to belong to has no place for me.

I did make him laugh though. That has to say something about how awesome I am. I'm going to need a lot of finger crossing to land this one folks. Feel free to send some good vibes my way.