And Then I Bought a Cheeseburger.

I wanted to shop my little heart out today.

I have some how gone from working four days at the bookstore to five days. I need the money, and though I am sending out applications left and right (does anyone want to hire me as a production assistant. purty please) I haven't heard anything on the job front. Last week I sent out 6 applications. Nice cover letters and all. But alas nothing, and did I mention that I need the money.

Five days a week though, means that I only have 2 to myself. And when I'm not writing company specific cover letters, I am sleeping. Hardcore. But after an emotional night, and spring like weather I decided to brave the world today and go shopping.

Ever since my spat with Marie I realize that I don't have too many friends to hang out with. Everyone I know here works with me, and I am hesitant on combining my personal life with the people at the bookstore.

Last week one of my co-workers asked me if I wanted to head to a diner after work with him. I sort of blinked awkwardly because he is sort of shy and quiet, and I am sort of shy and quiet and collectively we have don't talk too each other much. I mean we do, but just not as much as I do with say Josh.

He was headed there with two people from cafe, an old girlfriend and McAbs. I thanked him for inviting me but quickly said 'no thanks'. But I do need to hang out with people. I just do, even if they are my co-workers. So i'm not going to share my life story with them but it but it doesn't mean that I can't hang out with them sometimes after work. It doesn't mean that I can't go out for drinks (soda) or see a movie every once in a while. When i'm comfortable with the situation, I mean.

But I don't have going out clothes. At work I wear slacks and a blouse. And at home it can be 90 degrees outside and I will still wear a cardigan, jeans, and chuck Taylor's. I have clothes that I wear to work, and then clothes that I wear in my room. Right now that is the extent of my wardrobe, and it's pretty bad.

So I headed to the mall this morning to gather from 'social gathering' clothes, so if did want to go to the diner with someone from work, or to see a movie and go out for drinks I would look , you know, presentable and not like a teenage boy. Which I sometimes dress like. But when I wasn't bombarded with fashion resembling something I wore when I was 8 in the 90's, there was too much neon and backless shirts at the mall. What's the point of wearing a shirt if it's missing essential fabric in the front and back of the blouse.

So like an adult, I headed to the food court after an hour or so of thumbing through clothes and bought a cheeseburger. A double cheeseburger. Yeah, what a successful shopping day.

I'm thinking about heading into the city soon. I haven't been there since my second Nonion interview way back in December (they never called, I never emailed a 'so about the internship' letter) and I need to escape from this town for a while. Even if it's just for a day. And maybe, maybe, I will find some clothes to wear. I could also find a used bookstore. Or a record store.

I sometimes get the urge to explore my surroundings and because the weather is getting warmer, I don't feel like being trapped inside all day. Which is very unusual for me to say. But I'm hoping that a change in my routine will get my life up and running again. I need it to.

Now time to eat that cheeseburger.