No Boys Allowed.

So, yesterday I partook in Nerd Day 2010 with four of my very sober (because they are usually very drunk) co-workers. And it was.... a very awkward day. But totally not on my part. Score!

When we Jenn came up with the idea to have a geeky day in the city it was strictly a girls event. No boys allowed and in all honesty I was looking forward to that aspect of the day. I don't have a lot of girl friends. I am not one of those girls who claims to get along with boys any better because I don't. Like some ambivalent outsider, both sexes are completely alien and confusing to me.

On the DVD commentary from the movie Girl Interrupted, the director says he wanted to create a scene in the movie where Susanna Kaysen (Winona Ryder) interacts with the girls in a way that she has never done so in her 'normal life'. This scene involves Susanna with the other residents sneaking out of there rooms at night to the basement of the hospital where there is this very old bowling alley. Just as she is sneaking out of her room with a nervous smile across her face, the director says something along the lines of ' i wanted the audience to get a sense that Susanna has never had female friends and this is the moment where she is initiated into a sisterhood she's never had. A crazy, dysfunctional but all too accurate one where she finally feels she belongs'

And damn it all to hell, I wanted that experience yesterday. Because you know what, I've haven't been a part of a 'sisterhood' in a very long time. Not since I was eight when I was best friends with my tight as hell grade school trio: Heather, Kathleen and Alison. And learning of this Nerd Day 2010, made me all kinds of happy because it was going to be the girls day of my dreams. A day where three highly intelligent, funny, girls spent the day talking about boys and awing over dinosaurs.

But our Girls Day quickly became a "Well, Evan and Matt Can Come Along Too" day. This was not an issue two weeks ago when we were all very normal people. Evan was Evan. Matt was Matt. Kat was Kat. And Jenn was just a girl wanting to invite some friends over to her cool new york apartment. But something happened when I went away for vacation. I came back and Evan and Kat (my good buddy at work) became EvanKat and Matt and Jenn apparently had dabbled in MattJenn and I was just along for the ride.

It was as if I'd stepped inside some weird episode of Friends where everyone has dated each other . The JennMatt thing I knew about because she liked him a long time ago but he had a girlfriend and it was just a simple crush. But this EvanKat is very weird because Kat has a boyfriend and Evan is a flirt. There are some people who aren't annoying in pairs. There are others who don't do the pair thing well and have a way of isolating you. I'll let you figure out where the KatEvan pair fall.

I don't know what is going on between them. I don't even know why I should care, but upon returning to work and having them be all 'we talk really close to one anothers face now and have secret eye contact signals' now is weird. I have my own very deep rooted not talked about issues of jealousy and inadequacy that will take some time to resolve. I can go from feeling isolated and overwhelmed by people very quickly. And for some reason there new found 'connection' to one another is affecting me in a way that it shouldn't. And I dreaded having to spend a day with those two because I've been a little dismissive of them lately. Get a room. Or don't get a room because Kat you have a really nice boyfriend and Evan is a self proclaimed man whore.

Anyway,

With Nerd Day 2010 now in effect we were all going to meet at the train station in town to head to Jenns Apartment in Washington Heights. A few days ago EvanKat decided they wanted to take another route that was closer to where they lived. Matt and I were a little miffed because splitting the group up that early could lead to some confusion. Plus both Kat and Evan are horrible with directions. If any splitting up was to occur it should involve having one direction person paired with someone who is horrible with directions.

And I honestly didn't want to have to travel with Matt alone, because I've never hung out with him outside of work alone and I'm not really good with small talk. But Evan convinced Kat to tag along with him and we weren't going to make a big deal of it.

Matt and I fared well on our trip. He is good with directions (as am I) and we got to her apartment without too much trouble. We even manage to carry on a conversation that lacked in awkward silences. As we were in Fordham looking for the subway we got a text from EvanKat that they messed up the train schedules and would be an hour late. We couldn't help but voice our frustrations with them early on because this could have been avoided.

Matt and I got to Jenns in time for an apartment tour (cutest. apartment. ever) and we started eating the delicious hamburgers early because our stomachs were growling. We chilled out for about 45 minutes until EvanKat arrived and they were too given a apartment tour. They apologized right away for the confusion but made no mention of the incident again.

The rest of the day (a long day too, like 10 hours) went by...okay. There wasn't a moment where we felt like a cohesive group of 5. We splintered off most of the trip into the comfort zones of our relationship. I gravitated towards Jenn and Matt more while EvanKat never strayed to far from one another. Kat got a headache halfway throughout the trip and she clung to Matt's side to relieve tension in her head.

Going to the Dino museum was awesome (i mean come on it's dinosaurs) but because I'd just been there three months ago and the four of them were all frequent visitors to the museum it almost felt redundant; 'been there done that'. I didn't stop me from snapping pictures though and wandering off by myself a few times to marvel at some displays I'd missed on my last trip.

As we were making our way around the ocean life exhibit an announcement came over the loudspeakers telling everyone the museum was closing. It was only 5:15 and we didn't know we were there that long. When we got outside Evan looked to his watched and exhaled loudly 'guys, Kat and I want to go see a movie at 7. It's all the way downtown though so we were going to head down that way to---".

It was the most b.s thing ever. They obviously were not inviting us to go and were ready to ditch us the moment an opportunity presented itself. But then Matt suggested (because maybe he was a tad bit oblivious) that we could ALL head down that way because The Strand and some huge Comic Book store was down there. Because I've wanted to go to the Strand forever, I jumped at the idea.

The trip sort of tailed off once we reached Union Square. EvanKat were ready to split from the group, Jenn was tired, I was bored and Matt bought a $30 toy he couldn't wait to open. It was around seven when EvanKat left and the three of us tried to salvage the rest of the trip but to no avail. Matt and I headed back to westchester and fell asleep on the train nearly missing our stop.

It was an okay day but I feel like if you have to keep repeating that you are having a good time (which we all did several times throughout the day) than you aren't really having that great of a time. We were all dancing to a different beat and while it wasn't a disaster it wasn't an effortless experience. There were times when together we struggled to talk about things often reverting to conversations about work in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I attribute a lot of the awkwardness to the sexual tension in the group, none of it floating towards me I must add (bitter much). I think Billy Crystal has a point. Maybe men and women can never really be friends. At 24 anyway, it doesn't seem like it. It seems completely impossible.

Before we nodded off on the train me and Matt had this conversation:

Matt: So, it was a fun day

Me: Yeah. I'm glad I didn't bail. I got some cool books and the burgers were good.

Matt: Really good burgers [pause] So Kat must really like Evan

Me: [Exaggeratedly southern] How ever do you mean?

Matt: I don't know. It's just she never hangs out with anyone outside of work. Ever. And I've asked her to go to movies plenty of times and she flat out says no.

Me: Then she must really like Evan

Matt: Really like him. Made it sort of awkward don't you think.

Yes sir, it did.