Leaving Baggage Behind.

I am very sick. Very very sick. So sick that i've already called out from work tomorrow because my head hurts so bad I am worried that my brain is bleeding. Yes, I know that is not a possibility but damn it all to hell if I don't feel like crap.

There has been a bug going around for a while but I know that I got this current bug from Angie. She came over this weekend with an awful cold. She tossed and turned the whole night and then proceeded to wipe her nose with various things that were not napkins. I almost gagged.

Now I am sick. Too sick to do much of anything. It feels like that time last year when I had the flu. My throat, head and bones just feel awful. And I hate that after a lackluster trip I now have a cold to top things off.

Okay I have to take some of that back. The weekend was pretty good. Angie and I went to the Strand and bought a crap load of books followed by a trip to the Guggenheim and an art festival. After a year apart we fell into everything so quickly, it was hard to believe we hadn't hung out since May 2009.

But. My friendship with Angie revolved around our mutual disdain for working at the bookstore and life being a crap fest. I realize now that the reason we got along so well at the time was because we were unhappy with our life. Misery loves company and we liked each other because of it.

But the moment she moved to DC our friendship sort of fell to shit. We text each other every few months and sometimes say how much we miss each other on facebook. But when she came down this weekend it wasn't like I yearned to be around her. We continued to talk about post grad struggles and general anxieties about life. But I got the sense that she hangs on to our friendship because I am doing worse than her. That I am that friend, that we all have, that you sort of keep around because as long as there life is worse than yours you don't feel so crappy.

She'd ask me about work, or how much I made, or how much I had to pay for rent and how difficult it must be for me. But it was with this tone of 'I'm glad it's not me'. She even said that at one point when I gave her a tour of my 'crib' she said 'i didn't think about renting a room before i left. I should have. or maybe not'. What the hell does that mean.

So while the day went well, I couldn't help but fell dragged down by some of her comments. And that there must be a little part of her that likes me only because I am not doing as well as her. That she has one friend she can come and visit and look down on. I could be overreacting and being overly emotional but that is what this whole weekend felt like.

AND she gave me a cold. I plan on sleeping all day tomorrow and watching Netflix because of it.

Thanks Angie