This is happening. This is happening. I report the boy just called to confirm plans
Sean: So, are you going to go to the movies with me?
Me: um, yeah, of course.
Sean: Great. See you at 5.
Plans have been solidified. I am presenting a very calm, relaxed face to the world but i am freaking out. Freaking the fuck out. I feel dizzy and lightheaded and I think I might barf.
This is not a date. I must tell myself this or I will not make it through the next few hours. This is like any other time that I have hung out with him outside of work. I must not panic. I cannot panic.
I'm panicking a little.
For fucks sake
6 comments:
1. Breathe.
2. Try to have fun.
3. Don't let him bounce anything off of your ass. :)
1. Breathe.
2. Try to have a good time.
3. Don't let him bounce anything off of your ass. :)
You are playing with fire. He is no good, you know this. You need to find a way to walk away from him for good. He has nothing to offer you and you are aware of that. This is not good for you at all.
Perpetua: lol, thank you. We had a pretty good time. It was fun and he seems to like being around me which is nice. AND nothing was bounced off my ass, which i was a little worried about to be honest.
Lisa: I value your opinion. Which i know probably sounds like the beginning of a snarky statement but it's the truth.
This journal is an open and public blog for that sole reason. I want to be able to write about and share my experiences and fuck-ups and bad decisions
I am not perfect. And neither is this boy. But i'd rather play with fire, have fun, get bruised and banged up in the process and learn from my stupid mistakes than miss out on experiences.
My heart wants what my heart wants. In romantic and/or platonic relationship. I know he is absolutely wrong for me. But we are having fun. And no one is getting (too) hurt in the process.
I am naive. And innocent. But i haven't put a stop to it because I don't want to. Not just yet anyway. I just want to enjoy the time i have with the people in my life. And he just happens to be one of them
I'm glad you are having fun, I just don't want to see you hurt by this guy who you are soooo much better than. I guess fun at your age is more important right now LOL. I'm OLD (41) :) Have fun but please becareful and don't give away to much of your heart :) SO tell us about "date" night
lisa: thank you. and i'm sorry if my comment came off defensive. i didn't mean it or my words to come off that way.
i think back to college where i had little to no friends and boys didn't even look my way. i was so alone and i don't ever want to go back to that place.
so i guess now i am, in some ways ,compensating for the years of solitude. and i am not always making the best decisions but i'm thankful for these times with the people in my life. even if some of them (sean) aren't great for me.
And lol, um, the 'date' itself was great. the day after....was terrible and horrible and i cursed sean out in front of my co-workers: which I of course will write about in detail after i grab breakfast
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