Cosy in the Rocket

I always use this picture...I just like it I guess. A green funeral car, driving thru the desert into a bright light, assuming it's the future. Something about that just makes me love this photo.

So I have finished my starting over list, after a lot of scribbling, hair pulling, and finally putting the pen down, I have established my ten, starting over goals. I was talking to Marie about constructing this list, and she said that it couldn't really be called a resolution, it's more of goals I wish to accomplish.

So this is my list, not of resolutions that I wish to do, but of a life change I hope to somehow accomplish. I keep forgetting that this is like my "journal" , so I have to kind of write it here, seeing I would do it in any other journal, so here it is.

MY "starting over" list (in no particular order)

1. Discover and embrace Individuality.
2. Plan the destination, not the trip(pertaining to post undergrad studies)
3. Get Academics in order
4. Let some of the guards down.
5. Don't be afraid to enjoy the experience
6. Remove clutter and disorder in life
7. Balance wants for success with efforts to attaining it.
8. Learn what my boundaries are and use that in creating strong relationships
9. Broaden my horizons (Learn something new, leave comfort zone)
10.Declare Independence.

Yes that took me all night to write, butIi had to focus on the things thatIi am kind of havingproblemss with in my daily life(and admitting them isn't easy). I just remember yesterday that 2 months from January 1stIi will be 20 years old (March 1st can't come fast enough,i will be nestled in NYC for a whole week), and i can honestly say for the last 6 years I have pretty much wasted the experience. I have avoided getting close, and i don't know...just avoided letting the world see me. The me in this journal. if i can channel that (minus the whining) into my everyday life,i might just be okay.

All ten of those are to reach the main goal of..Well i haven't thought of a title yet, but maybe on the eve of 2007, while with friends at a chill party, it will spring to light. I guess I'll leave that til then.

In order totally unrelated news. 1 kind of boring and one HUGE.

Boring.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, what i have not mentioned for like the past 2 months, is that i have been hearing a ringing in my ear. I mean a persistent, nagging, whistling noise in my ear. I heard it first while in Spanish class, and i thought it was a noise from the building at first, because there is always some kind of construction going on, but when i began hearing it in my room, i was like "what the hell is that". I didn't want to bother my mom with, my ear hurts, and i didn't think it was such a big deal to go to the health center, but since the noise has not gone away, and i am home, i figured i minus well get that checked out before i go back to school on Thursday. I mean I'm not going deaf or anything, i fear it is a......EAR INFECTION. I thought baby's got that. Damn.

Okay now for the huge NEWS.

I think i am getting a NEW CAR. How did i swing this, well...I have been hinting to my mom for like ever, that i need a car to get me from the house to school for the summer, and that you know volunteer work(well the hospital that is), and even me driving myself home for the holidays and break would make it a lot easier on her, instead of being my personalchauffeurr. So every time we drive by a car lot, I'm like "look at that car, pretty huh". I figured i could at least get a good used Jeep. But the other day she said that she was uncomfortable getting me a car that could possibly break down, and be unsafe for me to drive, and that she would rather get me a new car that would last me for a long time, and for my move to...i have to make a list for where I'm thinking about moving for Grad/Med school) wherever i go to school.

I tried to hide my utter happiness, and though my mom isn't good with, well money, she somehow manages to get the necessaryy things(other than school payments, don't get me started). Apparently a new car is very necessaryy. We won't have to worry about any money issues pertaining to my room this semester, and other than buying books, she says a new car is in the near future. Maybe on or before my birthday. I'm so excited. It's a 2006 Ford Focus. And i can't stop looking at it on the web.

Trust me,I'll keep bugging her about it.

A car would be very nice, 20th birthday present(The pleasure of being the youngest, is that my birthday is way over-exaggeratedd by my mother, who goes all out for me it is like Christmas).

Though the whole not having a license part, could be a little problem. The DMV sucks.