We Belong Together

Guess Whose Getting an iPod?

CLUE:

Her name starts with a B and ends with a T.

I don't know how i swung this one by people. Okay actually i do.

I have a considerable amount of dough left after school tuition, books, supplies, food, you get the point. Enough money that i have given myself the go ahead to get a pre-birthday present. Which is kind of stretch cause i give myself a pre-everything. I don't see the problem of rewarding oneself once in awhile. Usually it's something small like a book or a Cd. But i'm going to be 20 in less than two months. I'm a sacrificed not a taker( i once got crap Christmas presents so my mom could afford to get my bro playstation 2....see thats worthy of sainthood or something), so it's about time i rewarded myself.

I contemplated getting a digital camera. After my small stint as a camera whore as a child, it's kind of disappointing that my family and i don't take as much pictures as we used to. I think i wrote in another post about how much of a camera whore i was, somewhere out there people who don't even know me probably have a picture of me. But since about the 7th grade my family and i just don't take any pictures. I didn't even take a high school picture my whole 4 years there.

Me and Cameras aren't the best of friends though. 1) i can't take pictures to save my life 2) every year i ask for a camera for my birthday and then the thing ends up on my desk somewhere. I'd just end up taking pictures of me and my converse around town. Not the most inspiring thing.

So after telling Marie i was thinking about buying a camera, she reminded me that i really had nothing to take pictures of (which though is harsh, is true. I won't be taking pictures of friends, and taking pictures of the clouds is always what i revert to). Then i called my mom, and she too reminded me off the past 4 years of asking for a camera, and how now i have four cameras (not digital) that i don't use. Kind of had a point there.

Than i remembered the iPod. What i have been asking for since the beginning of time. I remembered last year, carrying my bulky CD too class, and watching all those "pretentious"( i was bitter that i did not have one and could not have Mike tell me how great and cool it was, so i called him pretentious) people with there Ipods. I even had a campaign against them. I thought iPods were stupid, and useless and for rich yuppies who wanted to flaunt there money. OKay thats also a stretch, but i wanted one so bad, i had to hate it.

But even though it's hella expensive, and i still think the kids at my school are pretentious, i'm getting an iPod. I will be one of those small earphone people who totally walk with a stride to class everyday with the tunes that i supply. I won't have to carry the large Cd player in my hand, i won't have to worry about it skipping, or having to pull out the dreaded CD booklet to hear a new Cd.

This weekend, I will be getting an iPod. Oh, it's so lovely. I can't wait. I keep doing the "oh i'm so excited" yell.

And you can bet the first person who gets put into my iPod is the one and only, man who makes my heart melt, who took me from the talented Trent Reznor. My husband....

Gavin Degraw.

I'm a rock chick a heart. I'm into "the Boss", Queen, Zeppelin, Hendrix, Marley, Morrison, and i can't forget Pink Floyd but Damnit, this pop rock, piano playing, hat wearing, unshaven, boy/man from the nothern part of NY(which when i was younger was dubbed "the country"), will the first person in my iPod.

I was having a shitty day yesterday. I was nervous about my decision that i had made, i'm writing a new screenplay, and as i write the words of the main character(who is bad ass rebel fueled by the pain the runs her life) i can't help but pull the words from my own sadness and loneliness sometimes. And this whole week, thinking about school, and my future was just overwhelming, i was just wanting a friend or a shoulder or something to lean on and be completely open with.

Sometimes you just miss having a friend. Like i don't have a "posse" of my three amigos who i can count on, it's just me, and though i don't have a problem with that all the time, sometimes it is frustrating, and wonder why i don't have those friends that i want. But i get in those moods usually when i hear the commotion outside of these walls, and i wonder why i'm not apart of it.

So after a few tears, i turned on a few Gavin Degraw tunes and felt a little better. I love music. It's amazing what it can do to you. They are right when they say it's a universal language( but i think everything is called a universal language. Books, painting, photography), and so he's kind of my go to "having a shitty day, really need a pick me up" guy. Oh Gavin.

I wrote a whole post about what i learned from English today. We are studying Families and how they affect stories basically. For some reason he has us reading the Bible and we started with the story of Abraham. Though that story was not particular what got my mind thinking about the actual impact family does play, the realization that who we are is first defined by our roles in our family is interesting. Cause it's the truth. But then Damn Blogger deleted it, after i tried to save it. So now i have love, and family relationships to elaborate on.

But until then more Gavin. I'm in a way better mood, dizziness is gone, ate a killer subway sandwich, did not sleep in all day, but have neglected to do my homework so i could listen to music on the internet. Things are getting back to normal.

And did i mention that i LOVE Gavin Degraw.

"What good is a life With no one to share. The light of the moon. The honor of a swear. We can try to live the way in which you speak. Taste the milk of your mother earth's love. Spread the word on consciousness you see.We are are everything we need. We belong together Like the open seas and shores Wedded by the planet forms We've all been spoken forAll this indecision. All this independent strength. Still, we've got our hearts on save, we've got our hearts on save.Someday when you're lonely.Sometime after all this bliss.Somewhere lost in emptiness. I hope you find this gift..."