Oh for Pete's Sake....

S. African is emotionally damaged.

I don't see how I pick them, I don't see why these intensely torture souls are drawn to me, or I to them. Who knows how it goes.

Today was a pretty good day. Classes are finishing up, I got an A in genetics. In psychology were talking about personality disorders and I have discovered that I am not Borderline, Anti-social, or show signs of being a Paranoid Schizophrenic, and that the least of my worries may be that I suffer some Avoidant disorder. But once again I am no doctor to suggest that.

After getting out of genetics late, Katherine called about going swimming. If it wasn't for the fact that I a) like swimming and b) wanted my dinero I would have ditched on the whole thing. It's kind of hard to pretend you like someone when all you can think of is socking them in the mouth( I do think she may suffer from narcissistic Disorder though). I got some good swimming in though, but I am directionally challenged under water, which meant I ended up in other people's lane about 60% of the time.

Then Katherine suggested we get pizza. Once she said pizza I was all in, plus I wanted my money, so I had to go. When we got there she talked about her normal drama crap and then mentioned something weird S. African boy did last night. I tell you this in confidence(minus the fact that it is on the web for all to see). So after the AI meeting I ditched to write a 5 paged genetics report, she tells me that S.African boy needed a ride home. So I'm thinking "that slut has made her moves on my boy, or worse he actually likes her." She tells me that they were in the car for 90 minutes. I thinking all kind of things went on, he told her he loved her, that he wants to be with her forever, that they should date. I munched onto my pizza fearing the worst, and preparing myself to hold but the "life sucks" tears.

But that wasn't the case. And he didn't tell her that he was secretly in love with me, and wanted her to get us together. Instead my S.African boy, the most gorgeous light brown, green eyes(perhaps. I can't really remember what his eye color is, I spend more time avoiding his eyes) has been suffering from emotional abuse from his parents. That's not even the worst part.

I feel so awkward talking about someone's hard life, but here goes. Apparently his parents got divorced when he was really young. His mom remarried this asshole of a dude who hates S. African boy. Katherine wouldn't go into it. She just said the step-father is really cruel. Playing mind games, making S.African boy embarrassed in public. Making him feel inept. His real dad has also remarried and is in Africa with his new family. This has just torn him apart. He is basically shipped back and forth and feels like he has no one to turn to. So of course he turns to the worst person in the world. When he found out that she has three kids, he(I guess) assumed she would be the mother figure he was lacking.

She siad the conversation went on for so long. He was like a puppy dog. He told her that he was "low matinence" and that he was not clingly, unless it was by accident. He said that he just needed someone to talk to. That he doesn't know how to connect with people. That he is all alone.

Damn. WHY. WHY. WHY.

It's bad enough that I have my own issues to deal with. It's bad enough that I have the worst luck with people. But what's worse, is that I have always been a person drawn to things that are broken in hopes to fix. When I heard all this horrible things S.African boy is going through, my first instinct was this immense need to want to take care of him. I wish it had been me who confided in.

I told my mom, and of course whose advice was to not get involved. My first reaction is to reach out and tell him he is not alone. I feel it isn't my place. Though I desperately want it to be my place.

I'll write more about it tomorrow. I am just so tired. It's been a long day and I want nothing more to crawl into my safe bed and sleep.