Dreamscapes

Damn you Stephen King for giving me nightmares the other night.

It wasn't really a nightmare, but the emotion that arose in the dream that frightened me the most.

Anger.

I absolutely hate when people get angry. And I can honestly say I have never verbalized being angry, mainly because i don't allow that emotion to get that fired up. I mean I can write my anger and frustrations down and then be down with them. But other than that I can't remember a time when I've ever expressed it. My anger is usually getting real quiet, doing the whole silent treatment bull. I know it's kind of childish but I'd rather not say something I could never take back and then have to live with that for the rest of my life.

So anyway back to dream. I had just finished watching Stephen Kings Dreamscape and was kind of confused by the last story Crouch End, very bizarre tale. Something about the place where two universe's meet. I don't know. It was late. I was sleepy. Of course that is what I dreamed of later that night. Where I was stuck in this alternate universe and was struggling to find my way out. Apparently my alternate universe was some weird So you think you can dance bizzaro stage world(No lie). I manage to find my way out after encountering a very sexy salsa dancer, who whispered in my ear. Which is the sexiest thing ever I must say. How do I know it's the sexiest thing ever...

go back a few months when I was in NYC. All of us had decided to go to the wax museum. In the wax museum there is a haunted house walkthrough thing( as if staring at creepy wax figure isn't scary enough.) So my cousin is literally dragging me through this thing, so fast that nothing can pop out at us. As we were exiting the room, there must have been someone hiding behind the curtain, and instead of jumping out and yelling, he breathe on my neck, almost grazing it. In an instant I turned into Paris Hilton and was like "why that's hot". Now my cousin is still dragging me out, as I'm trying to get a glance back at my neck breather. Of course when I turned back the man of my dreams was dressed in a Jason outfit and made a slow, creepy exit off stage left.

Needless to say creepy Jason dude neck breather was a hot moment. Anyway back to the dream. So after I find my way back from other place, I return home to wait for the cableman. When he comes he fixes our cable and then charges me 100 hundred dollars. For some dream me, becomes irate. I am screaming that he didn't tell me before hand that he would charge me money, and that if I would have known I would have called and cancelled someone coming over. This all blows way out of proportion, I tell him to call his supervisor and have her come to the house. She gets the worse of "dream me" anger, and I am shouting uncontrollably at her. I don't let her leave until she explains what she is going to do to fix this situation. I can explain this emotion simply as pure rage. It freaked me out when I woke up.

Anger is not an emotion that I freely express. Sure I get "angry" if you can even call it that. But my anger quickly turns into self pitying sadness. I think anger is such a strange emotion, because I feel it is one of those feelings that is the driving force for many others. Envy, Jealousy, Hate are all the result of anger, and I can't help but feel like a little part of me holds anger towards the things that have made me sad. Because anger leads to resentment(and vice versa) and I don't want to be resentful of things. I hope that whatever "anger" I have towards the things and people who have figuratively beat me down since I moved here will not continue to influence the way I wish to led my life, I'm hoping to emerge from it without bitter or angry.

Or maybe my dream wasn't about that at all, maybe it was just about hot salsa neck breather. ???

Marie's boyfriend is going to turn 20 in like 2 weeks. So...She bought him a Dog.

I feel like they are going to turn into that couple who starts looking alike. I hate to even ask her to do anything because they have become the "we" couple.

Example

me: hey do you want to go see Lady in the Water next weekend

Marie: Yeah next week I am off week, we would love to come.

WTF. And to me buying your boyfriend/girlfriend a pet is a huge move. They already work together, live pretty much to together(his apartment is right next to hers), spend every waking moment together, and now they have a dog. Named Albi.

If they start dressing alike I have to intervene. It's getting a little freaky. It's getting like "we are married" freaky and they aren't.

Or at least i don't think they are.