Hey, How's it been.
I've been good these last couple of years. It's been a while since i last talked to you. I think the last time was around 1997, when your torn out picture was taped near my bed next to the ever handsome George Clooney.
I have grown up a lot since then. George's picture is now replaced with Sufjan Stevens, I'm attending college, and will 21 in a couple of months. I know! How quickly time has passed.
Though there have been very good times since 97', i have also had some ups and downs. More downs than ups actually. We moved from the nice apartment in New Rochelle, to a new place that just isn't home. My grandma died, my bird died, my brother became an A**hole, and i have developed anxiety.
I know...I know...Anxiety. It hasn't been easy living with it. I have insomnia, i get nervous around everyone, and i don't have the relationships with people that i so yearn for. I mean I'm 20, and anxiety has paralyzed me from experiencing important things.
I want a boyfriend, i want a best friend, i want to not always scurry away in fear.
And i respect your opinions more than you will ever know. Ever since i saw you in some movie, about some dude, experiencing something...i was hooked.
And though we aren't as close as we use to be. You having moved on with your family and career, and me developing some true sense of myself...you will always hold a place dear to my heart. You were the first celebrity i ever really pinned for, and for that i owe you the world.
So i thought i would tell you before anyone else that my psychologist brought up the idea of me taking some antidepressants so i won't be so antsy. And though at first i was opposed to it, i now am seeing it in another light.
Nothing is set in stone, I'm just having a meeting with someone to talk about the prospect of taking some medication that will help me . And at this point I'm ready for help. I'm ready to be happy.
Please don't hate me.
Your Friend,
Beckett
P.S Tell the family i said hi.
2 comments:
taking meds literally changed my life. i don't feel like a zombie, my personality hasn't gone haywire - i'm just able to function semi-normally because of it.
taking antidepressants are very much like taking aspirin for a headache. you can live with the headache, and try to tough it out; OR you can say, hey, i'm going to do something about it. and the aspirin relieves the headache and lets you get back to whatever it is you needed/wanted to do.
if you have any meds questions i am totally happy to talk to you about it....it feels like this scary huge decision, but for me, once i started taking the things, i couldn't believe i hadn't done it sooner.
good luck!
You don't need to apologize to Tom of all people. He's just another old, washed-up, kooky, star of the eighties (and early nineties) now. Kind of like Michael Jackson.
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