Sometimes my days never seem to find middle ground. Or perhaps i don't allow myself to see the shade of grey that makes life...bearable.
Today was one of those days. Middle ground being no where in sight.
I sent an email to my professor over the weekend. I don't talk a lot in class, which is kind of a bummer when it comes to the end of the semester and the professor doesn't give you that one extra point because they don't remember who you are.
The only way professors get to know me is through the work i turn in, once i at least write something, they are aware of my presence in their class.
So Friday i sent an email concerning my thoughts on the poem the Tyger and the Lamb(William Blake is the man). Even for me it was a pretty smart and well thought out question. I waited and waited for him to respond, i thought perhaps my question was really stupid after all and he couldn't even find an answer for it, maybe i sent it to the wrong email address, maybe he doesn't check his email on the weekends.
But of course neither of those were the case
Good News: He received my email, thought it was a very intelligent question and provoke many thoughts.
Bad News: He read the whole email in front of the class. Of course this was after making me raise my hand, so he could spot the culprit who sent him the email himself.
Good News: he thinks I'm smart
Bad News: He thinks I'm smart.
After being a little embarrassed for sparking a 15 minute debate on William Blake, i headed to work. Work is not really fun anymore. I mean it was never really fun, but it was tolerable. Apparently i have been more quiet since i returned, and people are starting to notice. Perhaps even talking about it behind my back.
Good News: South African Boy(the one i worked with, not the one i was crushing on), who got a new job in November-ish, came in the library looking for little old me. He gave me a hug and everything and said he was really happy to see me. No one has ever wanted to find me before, it was a little touching
Bad News: I didn't swap any numbers or email. I forgot to ask
After the small chit chat, i went to sign in.
Bad News: Evil girl i work with said she has noticed that i don't talk to anyone at work, and she likes to bug me because i am shy.
Good News: (There aren't any).
After work i headed to math. Mike must have thought it was "Try to piss Beckett off day" because well that is exactly what he did.
He thinks he knows everything about everything. He especially thinks he knows everything about me. Which he doesn't. I hate when people ask me the same question 20 different ways. Because you are going to get the same answer...I'm a very not a very confrontational person, but push any body into a corner with "You don't know this...that...You are so...this...that...." well you are bound to get a little( and deserved)
"shut the F*ck up!"
Bad news: Yelling at Mike before Math Class
Good News: Didn't stab Mike with pencil before Math Class
And finally to top off the wicked awful Monday, i had Chemistry Lab.
Good News: I didn't skip it
Bad News: The scare tactics the Ta's use so you don't blow yourself up in lab and then sue the university.
After signing away my life to take the lab, i then had to sit through a lecture where comments like these were made:(after showing gruesome pictures of eye damage caused by reckless students)
TA: Now this is like the worst case scenario. The contact is stuck TO the eye. And there are no known surgical procedures to remove it. So sign on the dotted line to ensure that if something blows up, gets lodge, or stabs you in the eye..or anywhere for that matter of fact...you won't sue the university.
Then he laughs. Almost reassuring us that he is totally joking. But then he turns serious again
TA: But seriously don't blow the lab up. You could like DIE!!!
????
I'm calling it a day. I have my cocoa and sandwich, it's scary out there in the real world
Today was one of those days. Middle ground being no where in sight.
I sent an email to my professor over the weekend. I don't talk a lot in class, which is kind of a bummer when it comes to the end of the semester and the professor doesn't give you that one extra point because they don't remember who you are.
The only way professors get to know me is through the work i turn in, once i at least write something, they are aware of my presence in their class.
So Friday i sent an email concerning my thoughts on the poem the Tyger and the Lamb(William Blake is the man). Even for me it was a pretty smart and well thought out question. I waited and waited for him to respond, i thought perhaps my question was really stupid after all and he couldn't even find an answer for it, maybe i sent it to the wrong email address, maybe he doesn't check his email on the weekends.
But of course neither of those were the case
Good News: He received my email, thought it was a very intelligent question and provoke many thoughts.
Bad News: He read the whole email in front of the class. Of course this was after making me raise my hand, so he could spot the culprit who sent him the email himself.
Good News: he thinks I'm smart
Bad News: He thinks I'm smart.
After being a little embarrassed for sparking a 15 minute debate on William Blake, i headed to work. Work is not really fun anymore. I mean it was never really fun, but it was tolerable. Apparently i have been more quiet since i returned, and people are starting to notice. Perhaps even talking about it behind my back.
Good News: South African Boy(the one i worked with, not the one i was crushing on), who got a new job in November-ish, came in the library looking for little old me. He gave me a hug and everything and said he was really happy to see me. No one has ever wanted to find me before, it was a little touching
Bad News: I didn't swap any numbers or email. I forgot to ask
After the small chit chat, i went to sign in.
Bad News: Evil girl i work with said she has noticed that i don't talk to anyone at work, and she likes to bug me because i am shy.
Good News: (There aren't any).
After work i headed to math. Mike must have thought it was "Try to piss Beckett off day" because well that is exactly what he did.
He thinks he knows everything about everything. He especially thinks he knows everything about me. Which he doesn't. I hate when people ask me the same question 20 different ways. Because you are going to get the same answer...I'm a very not a very confrontational person, but push any body into a corner with "You don't know this...that...You are so...this...that...." well you are bound to get a little( and deserved)
"shut the F*ck up!"
Bad news: Yelling at Mike before Math Class
Good News: Didn't stab Mike with pencil before Math Class
And finally to top off the wicked awful Monday, i had Chemistry Lab.
Good News: I didn't skip it
Bad News: The scare tactics the Ta's use so you don't blow yourself up in lab and then sue the university.
After signing away my life to take the lab, i then had to sit through a lecture where comments like these were made:(after showing gruesome pictures of eye damage caused by reckless students)
TA: Now this is like the worst case scenario. The contact is stuck TO the eye. And there are no known surgical procedures to remove it. So sign on the dotted line to ensure that if something blows up, gets lodge, or stabs you in the eye..or anywhere for that matter of fact...you won't sue the university.
Then he laughs. Almost reassuring us that he is totally joking. But then he turns serious again
TA: But seriously don't blow the lab up. You could like DIE!!!
????
I'm calling it a day. I have my cocoa and sandwich, it's scary out there in the real world
2 comments:
cocoa, sandwich and bed all sound pretty good to me.
sorry about your un-middled day....
but i have to say, as a word nerd and a teacher, having students write smart emails, and havin discussion provoked by a student - it's the most awesome thing in the world. and maybe - probably - he thought he was doing something nice by publicly acknowledging your smartness.
speak in class! you're too smart not to. and you can think of it as practice for other kinds of social interaction....
I agree with Kbyrna (hmmm... I do that a lot!).
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