Oh What A Night.

Thank God I am back at school.

Trust me i LOVED laying around all day reading books (no trashy books this time), flipping through on demand, and having the cats at my feet. It was perfect. But i needed to come back to school. No doubt about it. This last week has been the week of hell dealing with my pain in the ass brother.

I hate writing about my brother, honestly i do. I take no pleasure in calling him a: douche, ass, idiot, and psycho. But he is all of the above and more, and though i have tried to play Dr. Phil at home, last night was the craziest thing i have ever been through in my whole entire life.

Oh where do i begin:

As i mentioned last week, my mother and I picked my brother up last week after he was stranded with his semi-girlfriend, at the beach. I basically asked my mom to pick him up, mainly because i didn't want him to interrupt me moving all my stuff for summer school this Sunday.

To say he was ungrateful that we picked him up would be an understatement. This week was his birthday, and some how he felt entitled to some sort of big gift. Unfortunately, for him, that was not in the cards. My brother is the kind of person who hates everyone else's birthday besides his. My mom on the other hand is the kind of person who only gives what she thinks you deserve, by no means playing favoritism though. I got an ipod for my birthday mainly because she took in consideration that i am going to school and for the most part trying my hardest to make something out of myself. After getting a book for his birthday, he pouted the whole day, and basically started acting like a ass.

So on Friday i woke up with a bad feeling. It was like a stomach ache that i couldn't shake. It also didn't help that all of this/last week i have been having nightmares like a two year old. The dreams were of things disintegrating and i spent many nights waking up several times frustrated with my dreams and with myself.

Of course my bad feeling became an all to real bad feeling when my brother came stumbling home drunk at 6 in the afternoon yesterday. Yes, DRUNK. He later passed out on his bed, smelling heavily of whisky. Did i mention that he was driving while intoxicated. For some reason drinking and driving is not something i take lightly. I have seen enough afternoon specials with Oprah and HBO to know that that is something you just don't do. EVER.

At this point i was beyond fed up with my drunken and careless brother. As he laid on his bed, i crept in to remove the car keys from his room. I can't have that crap on my conscious. I mean, DRUNK DRIVING....no way, so i took them for everyone's safety. He slept for the majority of the night. We checked in on him periodically while we packed my things into the car.

I finally got to bed around 1, and then all hell broke loose. He woke up, mad that he had slept so long, and more frustrated that he couldn't find his key. I tried to take hold of the situation by calming him down, but of course that didn't work. It was like something out of a movie, it was raining pretty heavily as my brother runs outside to unsuccessfully open the car door. He's standing in the rain, yelling about something with our house door wide open, as i watch on in sheer confusion.

He just keeps repeating i have to "GO SOMEWHERE!"
And i kept repeating "Not with the car"

I finally get my mom, because...well i didn't know what to do. I assumed she would do something. RIGHT? Kick him out right then and there, call the cops, SOMETHING. Well that didn't happen, she instead offers to drive him wherever he needs to go, at 2am in the morning. I am standing there flabbergasted, saying "does anyone else think this is weird. Kick him out". I think i kept repeating that to no avail.

My mom takes my brother where he needs to go, and i am literally sitting in the house, all alone with the rain pounding on our roof... SPEECHLESS. I have never been so unable to say something in my whole entire life. I went mute for completely an hour, searching for words that did not come out.

That continued for the majority of today. Nothing would come out of my mouth, as if i was literally too traumatized by the night to utter any words. The more and more i searched for something to say to any one of them, nothing but a crock came out.

I don't know what is going to happen. I can't let it affect me. But that home...isn't my home anymore. It's a bizarre place, that i am more than happy to be away from. I love my mom, but there is no way that i can go back to that house, with my crazy brother running loose. At some point she has to kick him out, and until she does that...that home will never be home to me. Just some weird resemblance of a place it should be, but never can be.

See this is why Sufjan Stevens would never marry me. My family is CRAZY.