The Last Time.

Not only is that the title of one of my favorite songs (by Shea Seager) but it is also a constant phrase i have been hearing lately.

Tomorrow i will be in the NYC area. I have successfully turned my nerves into excitement.But I cannot say that my mom and brother have the same sentiment. I understand that college life and the "real world" are two very different things. I won't have a fall or spring break. Nor will i have a month off for Christmas. I think i can swing two days for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but i won't know that for sure until November and December are here.

My mom and i have been driving all over the place, tying up some loose ends. She likes to make sure all the bills are paid up before she leaves, so she doesn't come back having to pay the electric, cable or water bill. I have been packing, deciding what is important to take (my Sufjan Stevens poster and GQ magazines) and what i can leave (books that i will never read but can't fathom throwing away).

During our errand run my mom always says "take your last look, this the last time you'll see this place". What? I'm not dying. I'm just moving away. I don't really see the difference (as much as my mom does) because while i was at school i didn't really come home much. I came home only during breaks, and all of my weekends were spent in my dorm or at the bookstore. I know that the travel distance has tripled, and my vacation time has diminished but that doesn't mean that i won't be able to visit (maybe not as much) or that this isn't home (because it sort of is, My other home where my mom lives.)

Even my brother has been acting weird. Yesterday, out of the blue, he gave me a hug. Like a real hug. I'm a hugger. My mom's a hugger. But my brother? No way. Than on the phone yesterday, he was talking to somebody about how much he'll miss me. That this will be the "last time" he will see me in a while. These last couple of days i have not been acting like this will be the last time i see this place. It's where my mom lives, It's where my brother and cats live. And that alone means it's sort of home.

I don't know.

I have a kind of job interview on Thursday. It isn't at all in publishing, but i need something temporary until i can get a job as an editorial assistant or at least until i get the internship. Ideally Random House would send me a email or give me a phone call about the positions I've applied too. But that has not been the case. Instead it's been a waiting game. Have you the beginning of The Devil Wears Prada, where Anne Hathaway is telling Meryl Streep that "it was this or Auto Universe". I feel like that at this point. I've applied to so many editorial assistant positions i can't even count them.

But i am patient and persistent, and if i do get this crap job as an Administrative Assistant, it will be another thing to include on my resume.

Time to finish packing. I've waited this long to leave and I'm still procrastinating. I'm thinking about buying a new camera before i leave. It would be a graduation present to myself and the last big purchase i make for a long time.

See in you "the city"