Down the Rabbit Hole

I think I am going to be Alice for Halloween.






It wasn't a hard decision. My aunt wanted Michelle to be Alice for her first real Halloween. The costume is relatively cheap, the outfit is cute, and with Michelle as Alice we could dress up as minor characters from the story. I was going to be the cat, and I think my aunt settled on being the Mad Hatter because all she would only have to wear a hat.





But in an unfortunate reminder of the times, Michelle was against everything Alice inspired and instead wanted to dress up as Hannah Montana. My heart broke several times over. Not only did she want to be Hanna Montana but she cried when we tried to persuade her to dress as Alice. She went from simple crying to wailing, and we eventually gave up and said "you can be anything you want to be...including Hanna Montana".





Yesterday i found out that anyone working on Halloween (me. until closing) could dress up in a costume. As long as it is appropriate. I have been obsessing over Alice again, finding or making parallels between her adventures down the rabbit hole and my own.





I asked everyone yesterday if they were working Halloween and what they were going to wear. Ryder (who reminds me of Jack Kerouac because he smokes, carries small books in his jacket , is a philosophy major and possibly a fan of radical thinkers and Buddhist teachings) is coming in as a Zombie survivor. Think Cillian Murphy in 28 days later. The weird janitor guy is coming in as Robin Hood and I expect he will be on the search for his fair maiden when he's not stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. The girl in the cafe is going to be one of those Annie dolls, and the flirt who works at the register is going to be a vampire. A vampire who shows some chest. He creeps me out.





Alice is not a unique costume but it's fitting for my current state. Now if i can only find the Alice outfit that is not trampy and lacking material around the blouse I may be the cutest Alice this side of the Hudson river. I'm just saying.





There is this guy at work who gives everyone the creepies (not the cash register guy). His name is Reuben, and despite being a nice guy no one really gets him. He's quiet, off in his own head, and socially awkward. Just like me. My attempts at sparking a conversation with him has failed several times. I don't really know what to say, and when I do come up with something he gives me a half-hearted smile and walks away.





When Marisol worked there she said he was the only person she didn't understand. "Everyone else is cool...but there is something odd about him". And in all honesty there is something off about him but i haven't been able to determine the level of offness. One day, as I was clocking in, I noticed that he was all dressed up for work. At the bookstore we don't have to dress up but we can't wear jeans and sneakers. But we don't have to get all decked out in clothes, either, and sometimes I get away with wearing my rock t's under sweaters. But on that day Reuben looked too dressed up. As if he was just asked out by the hottest girl in college despite being the geeky nerd.



So I clocked in (which we do on the book floor) and I noticed an attractive older lady waiting at customer service. She kept looking at Reuben with a tenderness that bordered on inappropriate, and I was about to ask her if she needed help finding a book. Before I let the words fall out of my mouth I put two and two together. Reuben looking uber confidant and macho and this older lady peering at him with a look my mom gives me when she doesn't think I'm looking.



He brought his mom to work. Like for reals. Not only did he bring her to his job but he showed her around like this was a dignified place of business. He spent the rest of the day with this weird smile on his face, which scared the crap out of me. It reminded me of Norma Bates. Ever since that incident, and feeling like he may be a momma's boy, i have been intrigued by Reuben. He doesn't seem too connect to anyone at work, and everyone is put off by him.


Yesterday, during my break, I bought Alice in Wonderland for research purposes. Reuben was working the register and asked if I had my pay stub so he could scan it for the discount. Though I had the stub, it was deep in the belly of my eco-friendly bag and I could not find it to save my life. He saw me rummaging through my bag and said that I could just give him my 9 digit employee number. After I recited my number, I found the stub wedged between my wallet and my writing notebook. I pulled the stub out and exclaimed "I found it! I do that all the time. Look for something and then find it at the very last moment".



He gave me his weird smile and then I took my book and told him that I would see him later, after my break. I was kind of embarrassed because I did the thing I always do when I'm excited about finding something. I squeal as if I have just found my "must have" present under the Christmas tree, except I do this for all things that are hidden and then found.



A couple of hours later, Reuben was heading home and he stopped by the cash register to purchase a book. I asked him for his stub and it was like an episode of "didn't I just do that earlier". As if performing an episode of my life, he rummaged in his book bag, looked around as if seriously searching for it, and then gave me his numbers. After I punched them in he pulled out his stub and said "I found it!! I do that all that time. After searching and searching for something, I find it at the last moment".





He was dead pan in his delivery. He was not mocking me or being an ass. He was serious and making an effort to start a conversation based on one that we previously had.



I kind of gave him a look like, " I said the same exact thing too you. Just 2 hours ago. How weird", but instead I smiled asked him if he wanted a bag and then handed him his book after he declined the cheap plastic bags. Of course, because i am naturally curious about people's book choices, I caught a glimpse of the title before handing it to him. The book was called "How to make people like you in 90 seconds": his overt loneliness slays me. I feel compelled to bond over our introversion but instead I watch from a distant. He's an interesting person to study or at least to write about.



Time to read. I don't really feel like doing much of anything until i hear about this internship (Wednesday!). Yesterday I saw a new book by Jack Kerouac and William S. Burroughs called And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their [Tanks]. I was compelled both by the title and by the authors. Apparently this was written before they were known as 'the beats' and it details the crime that sent both to jail for failing to notify police of a murder...which their friend committed.



As someone who rarely finishes a book, I am flying through this one. After some difficulty getting into Jack's stilted writing during the first chapter:



I went to the bar. It was crowded. I ate a liver sandwich. I paid four dollars for it and then went home.


I was about to agree with the editors at first who rejected the manuscript, but the interchanging chapters written by Williams and Kerouac become intriguing after the 3rd chapter and you can see their different approaches to storytelling which works well together in a chaotic 1950's blend. Their tones are different, their styles are distinct but their perspective is rich in dialogue and description.

So far my favorite line ever is Kerouac's description of Burroughs (who is penned Will Dennison in the narrative :

Dennison reminded me of a cowboy, somehow. But not the cowboy you see in the movies on a white horse with a pearl-gray Stetson and a heavily ornamented double holster. Will is the cowboy who wears a plain vest and half-Stetson, who is always sitting at a card table in the saloon and withdrawing silently with his money when the hero and the villain start shooting it out.

God, why can't I met interesting dudes like this. Minus the alcoholic tendencies.