So tonight I closed. Closing on a Friday always sucks. Closing on the day a popular teen book turned movie opens with hot actors and a campy plot...it almost calls for a disaster. The bookstore I work in is located in a mall-well sort of. We are located in a building that holds a popular retail shopping staple, a clothing store, and a movie theater. On any given day a crap load of people come in and out of this place especially on the weekends.
Today (Friday) was my last day at work for a whole week. I leave on my 1 week break Sunday and I won't return to the bookstore until that following Monday. Of course I was schedule to close my last day there and not only was our store open an extra hour but we had to face the endless amount of teenagers hanging out in the aisle until their movie (Twilight) started.
I complain about work a lot. In my head. Out loud. To my mom. On this blog. But I generally like the people that i work with. The ones who aren't way older than me are in college or have just graduated. Unlike my college days of feeling disconnected from people my age I am doing okay here in the social department. Everyone is really nice and I have heard that I am "an easy person to like". Why couldn't college have been like this.
Oddly enough we were an all girl staff tonight and we tried to make the best of it. As expected teenagers were all over the place. In the Judaic section, Children's Section, and of course at the Stephenie Meyer fixture. Every hour we would have a handful of people asking for the Twilight series and I had to prevent myself from yelling at them to read something else.
I think it's weird (from what I know of the books) that a book about an awkward beautiful outcast who falls in love with a vampire has attracted girls who admire Paris Hilton and wear boots with tights. If Belle is anything like what people are describing then shouldn't the slightly introverted, doe- eyed dark haired girl reading Austen be captivated by these books instead of the loud mouthed bleached and tanned ones. It's very perplexing and grating.
There was one girl (surrounding by mirror images of her) standing in the aisle squealing about the series. She was clutching a Twilight inspired journal and exclaimed that she just had to have it. I wanted to tell her that a journal is for writing shit in and unless she wanted to waste her money on a journal she would never use ,to put the merchandise down. But instead i gave her a wry smile and let my heart break a couple of aisles over.
Despite the madness, we closed at 11 followed by completing our nightly chores to a Prince mix some girl in the cafe brought us. At 12 we were done and we got to leave earlier than I have ever seen us leave on a Friday night. Most nights I call a cab to take me home. I don't live far,but at midnight when it is 23 degrees outside and the wind is smacking you in the face ,walking can be no fun. Especially with teenagers roaming all over the place. I was only a teenager a few years ago, but they scare the crap out of me. Especially teenage boys. The girls (not all of course) are superficial and text away on their cute phones, but the boys are still boys on the brink of sexuality.
In the Judaic section there was about 10 of them sitting in the aisle. I of course had to put a book there, and I chickened out once they turned their heads toward me. I went back to customer service where my new friend, and co-worker Abagail, was shifting through some books. She is a 26 year old PHD student who plays the cello. She is brilliant, quiet, sarcastic, and Canadian. She talks with a dry enthusiasm and sometimes (as i did in the beginning) she can be mistaken for a snob. In all actuality she is sort of sullen. I mean we get along well, I make her laugh, she makes me laugh, she has a cool interest in music (she brought in a wicked orchestral mix when we closed a couple of weeks ago). She loves Twilight and romance novels but she admits that they are campy and silly. I like working with her (and even hanging out with her) because she is an interesting person to be around despite her sullen qualities. I don't really know how to explain it.
Maybe sullen isn't the right word. But there are moments when I catch her looking broken. She is attractive and of course has that sarcastic thing written all over her face, but there is still a hint of sadness. Sometimes I want to ask her if something is wrong, but I am never sure if she usually carries that hint of gloom with her.
Anyway, when I got to customer service I told Abigail about the boys lounging in the Judaic section. She grabbed some books, marched down the aisle and told me she would take care of them. A moment later she came back, slightly defeated and perplexed.
"There are a lot of them!" she said, putting the books on the desk. After concluding that were were both chicken shit, we choose to tell the security guard that there were some boys hanging out in the section and if he could tell them to hang out somewhere else. It was a small triumph for two scared girls but we prevailed. We sort of giggled at the event, and then she offered to drive me home when I mentioned that I hated waiting for the cab.
She lives only a few blocks away and said it was no problem to take me home whenever I needed a ride. On the way to her car after the store closed she said she wanted to tell me something. There is a dude at our job who she has a crush on (and who wouldn't: he's the hottest red head I have ever seen). She said that they have been talking on and off for a while, hinting at the idea of hanging out outside of work. When she told me this I noticed that weird sullen thing again. In between her general excitement that he has taken an interest in her, she was sad and apprehensive about the whole thing.
She told me she was in no position to start a relationship with a boy, because her previous ones have been disastrous. "But he's nice and has a good face" she concluded as if those qualities alone made all the difference. I listened quietly, squealing when the moment was right and nodding my head when it was appropriate. Then out of the blue she tells me that she has and is suffering from bouts of depression. She hasn't been feeling well these last couple of weeks and even requested some days off to just deal with it. She said she was so sick of being sad that she wanted to deal with it head on and be done with it.
"it comes on and off you know and I just want to be able to function again like a real person". God. I wanted to cry. With the streets lights on there was a cadence of dark and light on her face as we walked down the street to her car. Her confession was so silent it almost didn't seem real. I thought maybe I had made the confession myself but I realized that i hadn't said anything in a while and the voice that made the confession was not my own. She told the manager that I hate about her recent depression, and said manager suggested she hang out with people at work. Abagail mentioned that she was interested in cute red-headed boy and now she wonders if the manager went to him and urged him to hang out with her.
"I don't want someone to hang out with me for pity" she said vehemently, as is she had experienced that pity before. I told her that i don't think he would do something like that but it can't help to ask should she be concerned about it. During the drive to my house we talked about loneliness, the job, and my shittastic interview on Monday. She invited me over (when I get back from vacation) to see her huge apartment. She told me to have a good time during the Holidays and I shot her back the same line. When she drove away, we waved to each other and there it was again, her smile that never really looks like a smile.
She is complicated, I know, but i really want to be her friend. There is something about her that reminds me of myself and need I say my own bouts with the big D. Sometimes if i look close enough I can see that she is hanging on by a string and I sort of want to be there for her, just so she knows that someone understands.
Though i haven't read Twilight I have heard that the main character is an annoying, male dependent, angst ridden teen tart. It's probably why I don't want to read the series. I like my characters to be strong, independent and fiery with a sadness that comes on and off from somewhere deep down inside of them. For some reason Abigail reminds me of those characters I use to write. Self Sufficient yet broken. I think that's why I like her so much and yet am so frightened for her.
I leave tomorrow for Thanksgiving Break. I am too excited to see my mom, brother, and to visit my school again. I am finally going to buy a college t-shirt, I actually miss the place enough to spend a crap load on college related merchandise.
Today (Friday) was my last day at work for a whole week. I leave on my 1 week break Sunday and I won't return to the bookstore until that following Monday. Of course I was schedule to close my last day there and not only was our store open an extra hour but we had to face the endless amount of teenagers hanging out in the aisle until their movie (Twilight) started.
I complain about work a lot. In my head. Out loud. To my mom. On this blog. But I generally like the people that i work with. The ones who aren't way older than me are in college or have just graduated. Unlike my college days of feeling disconnected from people my age I am doing okay here in the social department. Everyone is really nice and I have heard that I am "an easy person to like". Why couldn't college have been like this.
Oddly enough we were an all girl staff tonight and we tried to make the best of it. As expected teenagers were all over the place. In the Judaic section, Children's Section, and of course at the Stephenie Meyer fixture. Every hour we would have a handful of people asking for the Twilight series and I had to prevent myself from yelling at them to read something else.
I think it's weird (from what I know of the books) that a book about an awkward beautiful outcast who falls in love with a vampire has attracted girls who admire Paris Hilton and wear boots with tights. If Belle is anything like what people are describing then shouldn't the slightly introverted, doe- eyed dark haired girl reading Austen be captivated by these books instead of the loud mouthed bleached and tanned ones. It's very perplexing and grating.
There was one girl (surrounding by mirror images of her) standing in the aisle squealing about the series. She was clutching a Twilight inspired journal and exclaimed that she just had to have it. I wanted to tell her that a journal is for writing shit in and unless she wanted to waste her money on a journal she would never use ,to put the merchandise down. But instead i gave her a wry smile and let my heart break a couple of aisles over.
Despite the madness, we closed at 11 followed by completing our nightly chores to a Prince mix some girl in the cafe brought us. At 12 we were done and we got to leave earlier than I have ever seen us leave on a Friday night. Most nights I call a cab to take me home. I don't live far,but at midnight when it is 23 degrees outside and the wind is smacking you in the face ,walking can be no fun. Especially with teenagers roaming all over the place. I was only a teenager a few years ago, but they scare the crap out of me. Especially teenage boys. The girls (not all of course) are superficial and text away on their cute phones, but the boys are still boys on the brink of sexuality.
In the Judaic section there was about 10 of them sitting in the aisle. I of course had to put a book there, and I chickened out once they turned their heads toward me. I went back to customer service where my new friend, and co-worker Abagail, was shifting through some books. She is a 26 year old PHD student who plays the cello. She is brilliant, quiet, sarcastic, and Canadian. She talks with a dry enthusiasm and sometimes (as i did in the beginning) she can be mistaken for a snob. In all actuality she is sort of sullen. I mean we get along well, I make her laugh, she makes me laugh, she has a cool interest in music (she brought in a wicked orchestral mix when we closed a couple of weeks ago). She loves Twilight and romance novels but she admits that they are campy and silly. I like working with her (and even hanging out with her) because she is an interesting person to be around despite her sullen qualities. I don't really know how to explain it.
Maybe sullen isn't the right word. But there are moments when I catch her looking broken. She is attractive and of course has that sarcastic thing written all over her face, but there is still a hint of sadness. Sometimes I want to ask her if something is wrong, but I am never sure if she usually carries that hint of gloom with her.
Anyway, when I got to customer service I told Abigail about the boys lounging in the Judaic section. She grabbed some books, marched down the aisle and told me she would take care of them. A moment later she came back, slightly defeated and perplexed.
"There are a lot of them!" she said, putting the books on the desk. After concluding that were were both chicken shit, we choose to tell the security guard that there were some boys hanging out in the section and if he could tell them to hang out somewhere else. It was a small triumph for two scared girls but we prevailed. We sort of giggled at the event, and then she offered to drive me home when I mentioned that I hated waiting for the cab.
She lives only a few blocks away and said it was no problem to take me home whenever I needed a ride. On the way to her car after the store closed she said she wanted to tell me something. There is a dude at our job who she has a crush on (and who wouldn't: he's the hottest red head I have ever seen). She said that they have been talking on and off for a while, hinting at the idea of hanging out outside of work. When she told me this I noticed that weird sullen thing again. In between her general excitement that he has taken an interest in her, she was sad and apprehensive about the whole thing.
She told me she was in no position to start a relationship with a boy, because her previous ones have been disastrous. "But he's nice and has a good face" she concluded as if those qualities alone made all the difference. I listened quietly, squealing when the moment was right and nodding my head when it was appropriate. Then out of the blue she tells me that she has and is suffering from bouts of depression. She hasn't been feeling well these last couple of weeks and even requested some days off to just deal with it. She said she was so sick of being sad that she wanted to deal with it head on and be done with it.
"it comes on and off you know and I just want to be able to function again like a real person". God. I wanted to cry. With the streets lights on there was a cadence of dark and light on her face as we walked down the street to her car. Her confession was so silent it almost didn't seem real. I thought maybe I had made the confession myself but I realized that i hadn't said anything in a while and the voice that made the confession was not my own. She told the manager that I hate about her recent depression, and said manager suggested she hang out with people at work. Abagail mentioned that she was interested in cute red-headed boy and now she wonders if the manager went to him and urged him to hang out with her.
"I don't want someone to hang out with me for pity" she said vehemently, as is she had experienced that pity before. I told her that i don't think he would do something like that but it can't help to ask should she be concerned about it. During the drive to my house we talked about loneliness, the job, and my shittastic interview on Monday. She invited me over (when I get back from vacation) to see her huge apartment. She told me to have a good time during the Holidays and I shot her back the same line. When she drove away, we waved to each other and there it was again, her smile that never really looks like a smile.
She is complicated, I know, but i really want to be her friend. There is something about her that reminds me of myself and need I say my own bouts with the big D. Sometimes if i look close enough I can see that she is hanging on by a string and I sort of want to be there for her, just so she knows that someone understands.
Though i haven't read Twilight I have heard that the main character is an annoying, male dependent, angst ridden teen tart. It's probably why I don't want to read the series. I like my characters to be strong, independent and fiery with a sadness that comes on and off from somewhere deep down inside of them. For some reason Abigail reminds me of those characters I use to write. Self Sufficient yet broken. I think that's why I like her so much and yet am so frightened for her.
I leave tomorrow for Thanksgiving Break. I am too excited to see my mom, brother, and to visit my school again. I am finally going to buy a college t-shirt, I actually miss the place enough to spend a crap load on college related merchandise.
2 comments:
It is funny how the same crowd that loves Paris Hilton loves that Twilight heroine.
Could it be that under all those blonde highlights and ugg boots is a real, broken, fragile, insecure soul?
Or maybe they're just their for the hot vampire guy.
Regardless, have a wonderful Thanksgiving break. You deserve it!
Bella is a pseudo-fiery independent girl. the lure of the books is the lure of exotic, forbidden, true love. edward and bella are locked onto each other in a way that just NEVER happens in the real world, but it's made possible through the vampire plot.
the writing is totally moronic. totally. i bet the girl with the journal will write Bad Emotional Cliched Poetry in it.
plus, edward's skin sparkles in the sunlight. sparkles like diamonds! who could resist that?
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