Samantha Baker, Who?

So my birthday was uneventful. Not only was it uneventful but every friend I have made here totally forgot it was my special, even after I reminded them. Bummer

I was actually hurt by this. I had such a fun birthday last year with my mom, that i expected this year to be just as fun. I mean I have friends now, right? And that on some level means that on my birthday I should be allowed to relish in my special day.

Not the case. My family called right away. Even though the phone conversation weren't long, it was nice to hear from repeat birthday forgetters... my bother and uncle. They almost said the exact thing but it's the sentiment that counts. My mom was all over the birthday, I opened the package she sent me a couple of days ago and I hit the jackpot with Rock Band 2, Sims Bon Voyage, several new writing journals, and Ipod speakers. Oh Yeah.

My aunt had to go to work so it was Michelle and me for my birthday bash (lower case bash). Michelle does not understand the concept that you only receive one birthday a year and there is no sharing of birthday especially if you don't share they same day of birth. Regardless she entertained me with singing happy birthday to the both of us and she helped me open my presents.

My birthday hit a sour note after that. The northeast is being hit with a huge winter storm (what a way to bring in the month of march), and I was trapped inside for most of the day. But I didn't get any warm birthday messages from any of the people I have become friends with here. Okay that's a stretch, I got a few "Happy Birthday" text messages and facebook comments but very little in the wide scope of things. Angie texted me early in the morning, but not to wish me Happy Birthday. She wanted to know how closing went the night before. WTF? Even Abagail bailed on the whole 'it's my birthday thing' even though the night before she texted me to tell me she was going into the city to celebrate one of her friends birthday. In comparison to celebrating a friends bday in the city the lackluster "Happy Bday" text I received from her later on followed by complete silence for the rest of the day, just did not measure up.

I am beyond disappointed. If you know me outside of this blog, you would know that as a friend I do not ask for much. I don't want you to pay for the bill, or spot me a 5, or any of that shit. I only ask that remember that March 1st is my special day. That it was the day I was born. That it is the day that I want you to take the time out to say "hey. I'm glad you were born today". That's it.

A while ago (2 years to be precise) I posted a note that my friend,Aric, wrote me in the 8th grade. Me and Aric became friends after a girl he use to hang out with moved away. Before he became tall and hot he was a short geeky guy with glasses. We were friends for a couple of months when my Big Day came around and he totally forgot about it. It slipped his mind. Not that I didn't remind him also that my birthday was coming up. After that day I started to ignore him. I couldn't understand the nature of our friendship if he couldn't even take the time out to remember my day. I was upset that he forgot and this made me feel insignificant as his friend. A couple of days later he slipped me this note in homeroom and walked away. It said:

Dear Beckett,

I'm very sorry for what I did. I want to be friends with you a lot!! I miss talking to you in line at lunch, and in home room. Please don't hold a grudge against me. Friends don't do that =) ! Just ignore John. I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very, very, very SORRY !!!PLEASE FORGIVE ME !!!*Huge smiley face** Enclosed is your late birthday present(which was a ring from Claires). SORRY!!!

Sincerely Aric"

After that day he remembered my birthday all the way until we graduated high school. And to make up for what happened in the 8th grade, he actually sent me on a scavenger hunt for birthday cards a couple of years later. I worked in my high school library so after school one day he asked the librarian if he could leave handmade birthday cards for me to find (via some clues he had given me). The first card was a small square one that fit in my palm, and the rest (because i found them in the correct order) grew in size until I found the last card that was as huge as a small poster. It was very nice of him and creative. I like handmade stuff, it means more to me.

The point is, my birthday is a big deal to me (and apparently only to me) , because it's seriously the one day I take into account how special I am to other people. And to not even have the acknowledgement is crushing...very crushing. I spent the rest of day sulking wondering about my importance to other people and coming to some conclusion that I don't matter to anyone outside of my immediate family and handful of real friends. It was crappy.

This is not to say that any of the people who called or sent sincere messages yesterday are valued less. They actually meant more to me then anyone would know. Those are the people who always have me in their thoughts and because of that I never have to worry about my importance. Everyone else though I am not really sure about and now I really don't have a fucking clue.

When my aunt came home she lifted my spirits. She ordered Italian from a place she thought I'd like. She brought the menu home for me to look over but she had already but a star by the Chicken Parmigiana because she knew I would order it. An hour later the three of us (Michelle, My Aunt, and I) were camped out on the couch watching America's Funniest Home videos and munching on our great dinner. We blew out my candles that were placed on the ice cream cupcakes she brought home and then we collapsed in a pool of our own gluttony. It was pretty amazing.

Despite the light at the end of a horrible day, I am in a mood now. I feel disconnected and on the verge of hiding under my covers. Angie and Abagail disappointed me the most and I feel like disappearing from both of them for a while. Because it's a physical representation of how I felt yesterday.

I didn't even get a cool Jake Ryan out of my birthday.

Here's to turning 23!