It's Monday. I don't know how Monday came by so fast. Between Thursday and today I:
Looked at the worst room in the whole entire world, had a security guard at work steal two cellphones and a Ipod, looked at another room which I am madly deeply in love with, and I think I am coming down with bronchitis. Yes bronchitis.
My mom thinks I continue to stay sick because of stress. I think she has a point. My body is just betraying me. Where I try emotionally to fake the happiness in my life, my body has other plans. I am weak, tired and hanging on with as much strength as I can.
The closet that I saw on Saturday (calling it a room is giving it to much credit) was horrible. I have never been apartment hunting before but I don't believe landlords should have access to my banking account number. I don't know. It was weird. He was weird. And I feared that long after I moved out of that hellhole, pictures of me changing in my room would be plastered on the Internet.
But I am a little desperate. So yeah I still have a couple of more weeks before my aunt officially gives me the boot, but I want to take it upon myself to be out of her house before then. I have something to prove to her, I have something to prove to myself, and I really don't want to hear her having sex anymore.
I won't say much about the place I saw today because I don't want to jinx it. But I am madly deeply in love. It's a house located near my aunts old place, and during the day it is a daycare center. After four though I would have the place to myself (along with one other tenant who I met today). There is a lot of light, a bay window, hardwood floors, and skeleton keys to open the old wood door to what would be my massive size room. It has charm, and good vibes, and I want it, I want it, I want it. I've said to much already.
I hate being an adult. I hate that I went from being a kid to a teenager to an adult before I had a chance to take it all in. I realized this adultness before I went to see the place. I was standing in the living room, getting ready for work, and contemplating if I should call that Dave guy back about the room. Suddenly it struck me that i am 23, and I wonder where all the time went. Wasn't I just complaining about college, and high school, and junior high. Wasn't I just crushing on a boy named Nicholas and going to parties at skating rinks. Wasn't I, wasn't I, wasn't I not in this place where I am having to make decisions for myself and not just any decisions ones that will work for me and my life.
I don't like all the aspects of being an adult. I do wish someone could do all this adult shit for me, I wouldn't mind taking a back seat to that. I wouldn't mind it at all.
Time for bed. I spent the last 2 hours sitting around in my Halloween costume. I am dressing up this year as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 1 to be exact). I got the idea from the episode where she tries out for the cheer leading squad only to run into a witch who is taking out the competition via some evil curses. Season 1 is so different from the rest because Buffy is sort of a pain in the ass. She's not even close to accepting her fate as The Chosen One, she wants to fit in, and she vacillates between duty and personal identity. I love that she is this Valley girlisque figure who hasn't quite come into her destiny yet. She still just wants to be a girl, a cheerleader at that, for normalcy despite the fact that the weight of the world is on her shoulder.
So I bought a real cheer leading outfit from some website and my co-worker is making me a stake (with a dull tip) to personalize that outfit. It's going to be fun to be someone else for a while, even if it's just for a couple of hours at work.
*Where the Wild Things Are:Beautiful
4 comments:
If I thought I could pull off a cheerleader outfit I would totally go as Buffy - she rocks. Instead, I find myself wanting to go as Strawberry Shortcake...weird.
A leaser doesn't need your bank account at all, ever, but a lot of them run credit checks these days. Be careful about who you give that personal info to, though.
MaryPoppins: i'm not really sure I'm pulling the cheerleader outfit off either. My four year old cousin was trying to teach me some cheer moves yesterday, and then scolded me because I was eating a cookie. "cheerleaders can't cheer and eat cookies". Lesson learned.
Strawberry Shortcake is actually a really cute costume, someone dressed up as her for Halloween and I was sort of jealous.
Jon:
This dude was a total sketch ball. He wanted my Bank Account number and all these other "To catch a Scam Artist" type information. Even if the room was bigger than a closet I would have to really consider taking that place from him. It doesn't seem worth it, if the little money I do have it taken from me by some creep.
I would be more concerned with identity theft. Going with small time landlords that don't use a professional management company (as a middleman) to process applications is a bit of a risk. I've done it before myself, but you just gotta be careful.
Post a Comment