Sick Day

I am not feeling too hot. Whatever bug I caught on Tuesday has not gone away and took a day off from my internship to rest. I haven't had a sick day in so long I almost forget how good it feels.



I had too options when I started to feel like shit a couple of days ago. Take a sick day from my low paying (but paying) job at the bookstore or take a sick day from my non-paying internship. It takes me almost two hours to travel to the internship and of course two hours back, and at the end of the day I decided missing one day at the boring internship wouldn't hurt anyone. I hope.



My brother and I use to fact illness all the time when we were young. Not because we were unruly rugrats (okay, a little) but mainly because there is something so bad about it that borders on fun. Yes, I really do feel like shit. My throat hurts, my head is pounding, and I am achy, very achy. But it doesn't mean I didn't feel weird having a day off. I haven't had a day off in about 3 weeks. During the performance review, the manager told me that she was increasing my hours so I could become better trained in more areas. Because of this, I have had amazing hours at the bookstore but no days off.

I think I am exhausted above all else and a little worn down. But have no fear, my Sick Day was a semi success. So I still feel shit (seriously, can you die from a cold) but I went to the supermarket and bought some of my favorite treats, and spent the day sleeping and reading. I love the Supermarket. I love shopping for myself. It's the only adult thing I do these days. In school, I lived in dorms which pretty much meant I didn't cook at all. Now I am pretty much obsessed with the supermarket and trying out different flavors. So far I only know how to make chicken but that's one more dish that I know how to make.

It was nice having the morning to myself. It was nice just being able to make food and feed myself. I made the caramel apple bat treat, hoping that having fresh apples would make me feel better. It didn't, but now I have a nice dessert waiting for me in the refrigerator. I didn't get as much reading done as I wanted too. I have a crap load of books to read from the library and then one that a co-worker let me borrow. I love literary books. I don't think there are enough of them. Maybe it's because I am bomboarded with trashy romance submissions but I sort of miss books that don't appeal to everyone but has merit.

When I think about what kind of writer I want to be, I can't help but wanting to be a literary one. This guy at work, Josh, and I discussed this because he has no problem being a one hit wonder. He wants to write one really good novel and live off of that. But when I have to examine and think about the career I want for myself , I want to be a very literary writer which is why I am drawn to books with great plot and character development.

I haven't worked on anything in a while though. I still struggle with anxiety about my writing. I hit this unconquerable block that stops me from doing anything that resembles writing. I open the word document, stare at the page that I have filled with my characters voice and then promptly close the document. I planned on using this sick day to get some writing done, but instead I kept the computer closed and passed out to another episode of Real World/Road Rules challenge.

Must work on this. Have to figure out how to overcome this anxiety, must get better and healthy, must discontinue this crush on janitor (because it apparently it's not the wisest idea). Time to hit the bed, the meds are kicking in and I feel a little loopy.