With my impending departure back to school, a dark mood has set in this house.
That dark mood being silence.
It happens all the time, when i have to head back to school, everyone seems to get real quiet, go into their separate rooms, and i think we nod heads as we pass each other to the kitchen, but thats about it.
It's completely annoying, i feel like i have the plague or something, and they don't want to get to close for fear that i will infect them. All day my mom has been giving sad eyes, while my brother has not been out of the room all day, and i have been staring around like "what the hell is wrong with you people" I have 2 more days, before i will be 2 hours and a phone call away, and we can't even spend the last 2 days enjoying the time with each other....No, not in my family.
In my family, we avoid each other, or get angry at each other for no reason at all. I remember when we moved from White Plains to New Rochelle when i was in the 3rd grade, at the time we were all living in a big yellow house, like a more hip version of "Full House". It was my mom, brother, and i, living with my grandma, cousin Sean, cousin Chris, and my Aunt. I told you a full house. For the most part it was great. 4 kids, 3 adults, everyday was hectic but everyday i felt loved. Me and Chris were tied to the hip. He is 4 years younger than me, and for the most part i babysat him, watched Barney with him(dark times), and made him play school, while i had to play power ranger(always the pink one) but when we moved, I remember us being so mad at each other. We had stupid fights about ridiculous things, did the whole "i'm never talking to you again", but i knew it was because if we could distance each other, refuse to feel close, then me leaving would be easier on us both.
Well it's not...even today we still get sad when i have to leave(though he doesn't cry anymore).
So i guess thats what mom and morgan are doing. Though i wish they would get over that by now, i feel as if they think i am leaving them behind or something. As if they are trying to make me feel guilty for having to return back. This psychological torture is crazy, so i have retreated to my room, and am watching Jerry Springer. It's better than the silence. Cause being around them i feel like a big cancer who is some how destroying them.
It's not like i can even say "hey are you alright", because they do the whole "nothing". So to be safe, i'll just stay upstairs. And hope these two days go by really fast.
5 comments:
hello my name is eros-filos-agape. i was reading your blog and i think that is interesting well i write in spanish but in like the bogs in english to.
see you little girl
Wow, I experience the same exact thing when I leave my parents after an extended visit. That last day is just horrible. It makes you never want to visit again. Why can't people just enjoy you while you're there and wait until you're gone to get all mopey and sullen.
Anyway, such are the ties that bind...for better or worse.
it's awful, i know, but it does make the separation much less difficult; i'm always relieved to be going after i visit home. because i love my family, and i love going home, i think it's a good thing we all get on each other's nerves that last day; otherwise i'm not sure i'd ever be able to leave.
i hope you're happy to return to school...and that your spring semester is dazzling!
Geez! My family does the same damn thing! We should conspire to find a way to make them light hearted!
We are weird. We just try to make the good times last... then bawl our eyes out after they've left.
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