The Mix Tape

So I finished it...FINALLY.

I told you I was no Picasso, but it was the best I could do with my 2nd grade drawing skills. I wrote a lot more than I thought could possible come out of me(almost 2 full pages front and back), but it flowed freely and maybe she can see something in it that I can't.

I attempted to write outside thinking that maybe I could get some inspiration from the beautiful fall morning I woke up too.

I can't even go into how much I love fall. Leaves changing, chilly weather, the wind blowing. It's amazing. It's unlike any beauty I think I have ever seen in my whole life.

But it hasn't really seemed like fall to me this year. Being either in class, at work, or in my room sleeping, I haven't had the proper time to appreciate the changing color of the trees.

Like most kids, my favorite pastime during the fall was jumping in a huge pile of leaves. I would head over to the park, push all the leaves together and jump in it like it was the greatest toy ever. Sometimes the pile would be so high that I'd be buried under them. And only after feeling some bug on me would I get out of it. Amazing what difference happiness was as a kid and what happens is today.

Whatever the case the beauty of today was absolutely amazing. There wasn't a soul outside as I walked to the coffee shop. I took the extra long scenic way wanting to soak in the beauty as long as possible so I could soak it all in. Listening to a semi-sad soundtrack I felt uber introspective to get to work on The house of Anxiety.

But sitting outside writing about what anxiety was, only made me feel more anxious. And I returned back into my room away from the beauty of the leaves. I'm so ready to begin the journey of fixing what is broken that I restless with the possibility of getting better, and at the same time fearful that I might not.

But I hold on to the fact that I am just like the ever changing colors of the fall, and that there is beauty in change.

This day went by faster than I would have liked it. Tomorrow school goes on like it always does and I have all this crap to do that I have yet to even start. Not only do I have a math exam, bio exam, English paper, psych project and lab to attend to, but I also have a creative assignment assigned by my English professor. At first I was freaked out, what the hell was I going to do creatively. But she mentioned that someone had done a mix tape one semester...and I was like "hell yeah, that is what I am going to do".

It should be no surprise that I think music in itself is a form of storytelling,and I am more than happy to provide soundtrack for my realism class. I have been writing down artist who I must use, trying to bring a modern twist to realistic...bore. I hesitate using the word boring, but realism is so full of every single detail that one can get bogged down in explanation after explanation.

I'm hoping to compose 20 songs that best represent realism...possibly Iron & Wine, John Mayer, Fink, Imogen Heap to name a few. Maybe using more current music to represent the presence of realism even in our songs. I'm even going to make a little booklet provided with song lyrics and my two cents on it's importance.

I am somehow unable to find a space for a little Justin Timberlake "My love" on my soundtrack, though it would be amazing if I could. Disagree with me if you must, maybe I am completely showing my age, but Justin Timberlakes ability to make even the worst dancers, a booty shaking college student,speaks volume to his talent. I'm just saying. I've got that booty shaking dance down to a tee, and I have not hurt anything in the process.

Time to finish Anna Karenina, I've avoided reading her all day.