New York does not have Moves.

I want to tell you all about my interview yesterday. But I am realize that the time it will take me to type this post (20-30 minutes) will take longer than the actual interview itself (which lasted 5 minutes). I fucking hate this city.

So, last Thursday I received an email from the editor of New York Moves magazine. I was hella excited after checking out the website and seriously began doing my research on magazine publishing. I bought some books, checked out the website a million times, prepared for the questions I knew where going to come my way, and felt secure in my strategies, drive, and ambition to get this internship.

After spending more money on a new pair of dress pants, I paid $13 for a round trip ticked to Grand Central Station, an extra four dollars for a metro card until I made it to the area know as Tribeca an hour early for my afternoon interview. I found the office pretty easily, so I looked around the neighborhood for a few minutes before deciding to wait in the lobby until my interview with the editor.

Unfortunately there wasn't really a lobby for me to lounge in. It was a huge flat sectioned off by partitioned walls. I was admittedly greeted by her assistant who handed me a copy of there magazine and told me to take a seat. I quickly changed out of my flats, college sweatshirt and jacket into my proper interview wear (that i kept on underneath all my other clothes. It was cold outside).

I didn't even get the chance to look through the magazine as I listened to the commotion over one of the walls

"did you get Selma Blaires publicist on the phone!", Someone asked

A small conversation began about getting the publicist on the phone as fast as they could and then all of a sudden a door swung open and a not so pleasant face greeted me. There was nothing pleasant about the next five minutes. I was carted off in a discreet corner where the editor (whose face I had seen in several of there promotional videos) was not as friendly as I thought she would be.

She shot me questions that she didn't give me much time to answer (because she was kind of answering them for me) "How's it going?Great. So did you get a chance to look through the magazine. Alright so where is your resume. Did you bring any writing samples. We are looking for experience candidates. Can you tell me something about yourself".

What a bitch.

I told her what I have been telling everyone at these interviews (but i included some fresh and relevant material for the job in particular). She asked if I had anything published and I of course told her the truth. Nothing published has come from these hands.

Bitch went crazy at this point. She sat back in her chair (not a good sign), made a face of disinterest (not a good sign) and then gave me a speech that went something like this:

We are looking for candidates who have certain experiences for our magazine. We need someone who we don't have to train and supervise because of inexperience. It's a two way streak, we offer candidates the opportunity to intern here but they have to contribute something also. We want to help someone further their career, and depending on how the next 25 interviews go I will make a decision to bring 4 back to get acquainted with the office. From there i will choose only two to come back.

She said this as if I wasted her time. As if she would never recover from the last 5 minutes she spent talking to me. I curved my mouth into an 'O' formation and said "I see"before parting ways. She led me out into the lobby where her next victim awaited her (i saw this girl a few minutes later with the same look of shock and disgust on her face).

That interview could have been done on the phone, instead of dragging 25 people to an office for a 5 minutes meeting. I am more mad about the amount of shit I did to have this interview (switch hours at work, money spent of travel and apparel, general excitement) then on how rude she was.

I have more incentive to 'make it', so I can shove it in all of these people's faces. I'm sorry that's

the anger and frustration talking.

After the interview I had to go to work until closing. Unfortunately some big hot shot person is coming in today, so we spent the whole night cleaning the store and I didn't get home until midnight. The Old Guy (teacher/ex-crush) was there but I was too frustrated to care. Some days he is nice, some days (like last night) he is cold and distant and I have learned to not take it to heart. Last week he got engaged (yeah for crushes) and his uber nice girlfriend came to the store to show of the ring. The Old Guy looked uncomfortable.

I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, because stories are too long and difficult. The Old Guy is giving me a lot of material and I think in some way I am using him as my muse. My much older, totally inappropriate muse but whatever.

The holidays is coming up, and my mom has asked me to put a hold on obsessing over this internship thing. She wants me to just take some time to write, and enjoy the presents she sent me for Christmas. She has a point, I will start studying for the GRE, write some stories and just relax for a while. But once January comes I begin again. I just need someone to take a chance on me.