No Man's Land.

Jesus Christ i am stressed OUT!!!!!

The end of the semester is drawing near, i had advisement yesterday if you can even call it that, i have summer classes to plan for, i have volunteering to plan for.

I need a break. I need help. I need to sleep.

Yesterday was psych advisement. Ever since i changed majors, psych has really been unhelpful in guiding me in any sort of direction. They are all so relaxed and "take whatever you want" when i ask for help. I never realized how much i needed some kind of guidance, until now.

It seems they have no idea what what i should take for my pre-med requirements or when i should take it.

I am tempted to go the pre professonal building for help, but Kay has gotten a job there.

Speaking of Kay, she is driving me crazy. I'm so frustrated that everyone loves her. I know this can be probabaly seen as jealousy, but it's more that i'm frustrated that i can't connect with people my age. That she is doing a better job of it. She has three kids, is at least 15 years older than me, and yet she is dealing with this social college scene better than i am.

Oh...and she's cool when it is just me and her but when we get around other people, she makes a habit of making me the butt of their jokes. I mean it's harmless stuff, critiquing me on my bad social skills, talking about the amount of TV i'd rather watch, yadda yadda yadda . I got so sick of it last night at the Amnesty Meetting(which was actually at some dudes apartment watching a movie about why Walmart is evil) that i didn't even wait for her. I bolted out of the apartment and headed back to my dorm. I haven't answered any of her calls or texts since.

I can take simple joking back and forth. But i don't really like people defaming my character. Like when some lady at the pre professional building said she remembered me from my old job, Kay said she told her i got fired because i was a lazy worker. WTF!!!!!

I was so pissed. I mean it's one thing to joke around with people we know, but i may have to see this lady one day. I may need to go to her for advice, and now she is going to think i am lazy.

Then yesterday, the four of us(Plain Jane, Amy, me, and Kay) were all discussing that we all lived at one point in close proximities to one another. Plain Jane had transfered, which got Kay talking about how she had transfered then she said "yeah Beckett was going to school in Philly but she got kicked out" WTF!!!!!!!

That was not funny. I took that to heart. And then was pissed the rest of the night.

I feel like she's everywhere. I feel like everywhere i turn she will be there. I can't even go to pre professional because a) she will be there b) when i go talk to the lady, i fear the lady will discuss having seen me in there. I don't think they have a confidentiality thing.

I know everything will sort it's way out. I know it. But man right now i feel like i'm in No man's land. I'm just looking for a path to take. A path that is mine.

I don't even want her to go to Movie Club with me next Monday. The last thing i need is her making conversation with my potential man.

My other potential man S. African boy didn't even show up. But i don't even think he's potential anymore, he and Plain Jane have something going on. At this point, i'm too stressed to care.