Unfinished business.

In a quest to not fork over rent money to get my own place. I have decided to stay on campus.

About a month ago i got a letter offering a sweet opprotunity to go to be a transfer student at any school for my schools tuition and i think even room and board. I thought it would be awesome. It would be a away for me to go to a school anywhere in the US and not have to worry about loans.

But mom wasn't so hot on the idea. And basically ignored it, going on to talk about how the cats were doing something.

She now realizes how great that opprotunity would have been. Of course i have missed the deadline, and unless i can find a study abroad program to take me, it looks like my junior year will be in this hell hole. (Oregon was looking like a real sweet retreat too).

Anyway, that means that if i'm least going to stay(until i can find a way out) i minus well be in great dorm. And for some reason the Enviromental dorm seemed like the number one choice.

But now i feel like they want a whole background check to make sure that i recycle bottles and take short showers. I had to write an essay and now i have to meet with the coordinator of the dorm. My mom told me not to sign my life away to live in an enviromentally safe(?) dorm.

I might be signing away my civil liberties. If the mention anything about rationing toilet paper, i'm out of there.

Today i feel like Death.

My cold has not gone away, and for some reason i feel contaimanted. Like the whole world should stay away from me.

I want to do nothing more than lay in bed all day, with a remote and blankets. OH BLANKETS. Unfortunately life doesn't seem to slow down for the sick.

I had Spanish, English, chasing down a Graduate assistant, going down and up and extremely huge hill, falling into bed turning it on Unsolved Mysteries to only seconds later have Kay calling me on the phone to invite me to her new place.

Four hours later i am finally back in my room, still having 200 pages of Dickens to read.

Sometimes i wish there was a pause button. Like the secret code that made everything just stop for a while, gave us enough time to catch our breathes. And then when we were ready , with one click everything would restart. For life to be on our schedule instead of us on its.

As i was waiting for Kay in front of my dorm, i saw a guy walking down my street. He was wearing a peace shirt and generally pretty cute. I usually don't get guys who i would totally date to smile at me. I usually get pimps. He totally smiled at me, giving a coy glance my way, but because i was watching him we made eye contact. He smiled at me! To bad this school is so huge, i'll probably never see him again. Damn.

I'm not just socially awkward, i'm boy awkward, i'm doomed.

When i was a kid( 10 ish) i was the complete opposite. I had confidence and coolness. It's embarassing now to think about how i was unafraid of letting a boy know i liked him. What the hell happened to 10 year old me.

Where the hell is my inner child when i need her.

I say she would smack me now if she saw how i turned out.

She would have totally waved. Or said hey. That floozy.

I did smile back though. I think. I think it was a smile. Or a grimace. As long as it wasn't my "blank" face. Or my most used confused face than i'm alright.

He shall be called Mystery Boy, since i know nothing about him.

Now for some America's Next Top Model. My Guilty Pleasure.