Goodnight and Go

With my broken computer, useless desktop computer, and long summer classes I finally have time to write something.

It seems that I will be getting a new computer this weekend. My mom is taking money out of here "we need to move" fund and is going to buy me a new computer, and later on fix my old one for her own use, or as I like to call it "how to get hold of daughter through another means of communication".

Though I was very sad on Monday, I figure I guess it's good that I am at least getting a new computer, one that a) works b) won't turn off every 20 minutes.

I have been going to the gym lately. The gym here is the most awesome thing I have encountered. Other then the TV's hooked up to the machine, making 20 minutes go by a little faster, the facility is huge and private. So while I work out, I am not gawked at by older men trying to pick up a lovely younger lady. Kind of creepy if you ask me.

I don't know what has come over me. I just want to start making a good first impressive visually. I have been walking around like the long lost Olsen triplet. Decked in baggy clothes, that literally hang on me and getting lost in the backdrop. I don't want to continua not having a good set of friends. But I guess I have to put some effort into it. I can't expect them to fall into my lap. If that was the case, life would be a lot less traumatic.

Katherine has been bugging the hell out of me. But I have been doing a good job of pretending like I am cool with her to survive through the month of June. She is pretty much a daily reminder of what I don't want in a friend. And if I continue on the path of letting people pick me as their friends, I will continue to meet people like her.I think she is literally trying to suck the fountain of youth from me.

The other night I was in bed again( I get a lot of my inspiration lounging in that room), and I was thinking of the fact that I am only 20 years old. Being surrounded by people who are up to 20 years older then me, is taking it's told. So I am wise, and mature, and seem to have my shit together for a young person. But there are times when I just want to be young. I have all this freedom, and luckily no responsibility to enjoy being young, and the last thing I want to do is wake up one day and realize that I let it all pass me by. That I was so worried about getting things done, that I never really experienced things.

A huge part of life, is gathering the stories from your experiences, but if I become to frightened to have them, I will have a wasted life. That is probably my greatest fear(up their with killer clowns. Just kidding. They are kind of creepy though.) I fear being too afraid to do things. Which is basically what I am doing. Maybe this is a summer of small changes. I feel like I am getting it now. Like I am hearing what everyone is saying and finally applying them to my life. I am not going to change who I am, but I have to grow comfortable with maturing the aspects of who I am. Mainly I have to stop hiding. No one will find me, if I chose a hiding place.

In other bizarre news: In the beginning of summer session there were three of us in the apartment. I am pretty sure I am the only one living in this huge apartment. Maybe they have gone off and are staying with friends. But normal signs of life, other then me, living in their is none.

I of course have no problem with this. Having a big place by myself is awesome. I can lounge around in a tank and shorts no problem. I could move my TV out into the living room and lounge, lounge, lounge...but because I don't want my mess to follow me into the living room I have held back and just left my door open.

The nights are kind of creepy though. There are no sounds of life, and these damn pigeons have huddled near my window, cooing into the night. Doesn't help when I decide to watch an Episode of Tales from the Crypt before going to bed. And then I wake up and find a note under the door,it was under everyone's door, notifying residents that the complex is having Stalker problems. What the hell are Stalker problems? is someone walking up and down the hall stalking? I have no clue.

I'm going to a festival this weekend. I'll try to take pictures of my town. It's kind of pretty.

Oh and I'll be posting a entry that I saved and just forgot to post. It's about my embarrassing adventure on Tuesday with an unknown wonder bra.