Boy Talk.

Today i spent 15 minutes talking about Balls. Seriously.

Not Basketballs, or Baseballs. But Ball Balls. Testes. Man Balls.

When i asked to have conversations with people my own age, so i wouldn't feel like such an outcast, i don't know if talking about balls was what i had in mind.

I'm kind of a girly girl tomboy. I wear rock tees and converse shoes, but cry if i see something sad on television. I'm introspective and shy, but curse like a sailor and watch things like South Park and Ultimate Fighting. It's the one balance in my life that i am beginning to like.

I think in a past life i must have been a 15 year boy living in the 80's(yeah i know, that's not a so distant past, but i connect with that decade). Some days when i am lounging around i will think of a stupid reference to AC/DC or Transformers and have no idea where that knowledge has come from.

I have always found it easier to talk to boys, rather than girls. You get in a fight with a girl and that can last for days, you have an argument with a guy friend and 5 minutes later you are joking around about something else. And boys aren't as catty, at least i don't think they are.

Even though i can joke around with the boys, i do have days when i want to have a girl to hang with. Someone to talk about how hot Sufjan Stevens is, and to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition with. To go shopping and hanging out, and even to be a little catty with. But i don't have a lot of those.

Trying out this whole talking thing i made another attempt at having a conversation with my co-workers. Yesterday i did a pretty good job of it, talking with short boy's now EX-Fiance and this other kid from work, Sean. We talked for a good 20 minutes, mainly her talking about how crazy short boy is, but i was a part of the conversation, so i felt good.

Today was a continuation of that. From 3-3:30, we usually decided to take a break from this big project we are doing in the library(moving a million books to make room for more books). It's the most tedious project ever, and without a lot of people, it can get pretty crappy. Today me, Sean, and this other kid Robert, were doing this project. After a while though we got bored and decided to take a break.

Even though i felt awkward and weird at first, i made conversation and good ones at that. We talked about movies, shows, school, and the normal everyday stuff. But I hate knowing a reference to something boyish, i wish i was more demure and girly like, but I'm just not. I have the unfortunate tendency of being just one of the guys, and within moments i was laughing at stupid South Park inspired imitations. Mmmkay.

But i guess the problem with relating to boys on a social level is that they forget I'm a girl...hence the Balls conversation. Truth to be told, i have no problem talking about balls, people have them, and that's good and all, but the guy's girl isn't really the role i want, though it is the role i am use to. I'm more comfortable being the guy's girl than the girl's girl, i guess a part of stepping out of my comfort zone is not go towards those roles i am accustomed to.

Talking about South Park was pretty sweet though. But i think i can go through the rest of my life without having a conversation about how one's elbow and one's balls are two entirely different things. Don't ask. I'm glad to now have that knowledge lodged with me forever. and ever.

Must make girl friends or my life is doomed to be spent talking about balls and Spiderman 3.